THOUGHTS ON MOTIVE FOR NEWTOWN MASSACRE

        
                It has been a very long time since I have been able to blog and there have been significant reasons for all that.  However, since the massacre at Newtown I feel an obligation, as a mental health professsional, to share my thoughts.  And what I have come to believe I have not heard from any of the professionals interviewed heretofore....and I cannot understand why.

               We quickly learned about the autism layered with asbergers that Adam Lanza suffered.
He was described throughout his school days as 'weird' and as 'a loner'.  He also was said to be 'brilliant'. He did not interact with others. Therefore he must have been the kind of young person who was totally aware of himself and of what others thought about him.  My conclusion is that Adam Lanza was filled with self loathing. His days in school must have been painful for him (eventhough he was said to not have the ability to feel 'pain'---if he was cut he would not feel it), but I believe that mental pain can be strongly felt even if a severe physical injury could not be.

               This kind of pain which I believe Adam was in all through his school years, must have filled him with self loathing.  And the loathing must have been seen as derived from the woman who had given birth to him. I feel that Adam Lanza had to have hated his mother for 'making him the way he was'.  He could indeed 'blame' her for everything. And what a stroke of luck for him that she introduced him to the art of 'shooting' and that she stored all these weapons right in the home they shared!

              At the same time I believe Adam Lanza wanted to prevent as many young children as he could from going through all that he had gone through.  With the weapons his mother had brought into his life, he found the means to 'save the children'.  He was adept at shooting and planned his attack very carefully.  It had to begin with the death of his mother as she, in his mind, was 'responsible' for all of the miserable life he had been leading for so long.  Logically then, the murder of his mother had to be followed immediately by the attempt to murder, thus to protect, all these children from having to deal with the horrors of life which Adam Lanza felt were so destructive to survival.

             Have not any of you out there heard stories of parents who killed their children in order to protect them?  That to me is what I felt was the motive behind all that took place December, 14th in Newtown, Ct.  Just something that the forensic psychiatrists and psychologist who have been involved may want to consider.

             Hope you have felt some enlightenment, even if you totally reject it, from this session.

Mimi Scott, Ph.D
mscott13@aol.com
www.drmimiscott.com
212 721-2979
917 846-2449

                How could I not do a blog at this moment in time??  It has indeed been a very loong time, and there have been significant reasons for that, but as a mental health professional I feel an obligation to share my thoughts on the Newtown massacre.

                My theory is not that complex and I am shocked that none of the forensic psychiatrists and psychologists who have been interviewed have not expressed what I am going to.  My thoughts are these:  I believe that Adam Lanza, a loner all his life, was filled with self loathing.  The Autism alone, layered with Aspergers was not something about which this brilliant young man was unaware.  He, it has been said, did not interact or intermingle all through his school days at Sandy Hook....he was considered 'weird' and as I said above 'a loner'. This type of person is often filled with self loathing.

BOUNCING BACK

      

HANGING IN FOR SUCCESS

           It's been awhile since you've heard from me...and the reason is what I'm going to write about.

           I have been completely overwhelmed with what I'm doing...but I can't complain because
 I'm doing that which every thing in my being has told me to 'hang in' for and 'believe in', and not to 'give up' on.

          All my life I have been active in one or more areas of theatre. While mainly as an actress, I have written, directed and produced theatre pieces, mostly musicals, time and time again.  I have also established a number of theatres.  But about three years ago I wrote a new show called Mah Jongg, The Musical.  Those to whom I talked to about it were very encouraging.  Finally last winter I found the right guy to write my music. He did a stupendous job!  And then we held auditions and cast the five women (I'm the sixth) we needed for the piece.  This was in preparation for a reading we would have to introduce people here in New York, to the musical.  The room was packed and they loved the piece!  We were indeed excited.  Then we heard about a Musical Theater Festival held in the West Village...we applied and were selected...we were thrilled!

         We prepared the 15 minute selection from the show of some scenes and songs and rehearsed. Before we knew it the Festival was here...WE WON!  We won best show; best original score, and I won for best actress.  What a night when the awards (based on audience picks) were announced.
We thought we would get the show directed for places and people to whom we knew it would appeal.Temple groups; JCC's; Jewish women's organizations, dinner theatres and much much more.   With tremendous help from my own daughter we have put together an hour long show for this purposee.
        While readying all this, on a whim I went across the street to the 63rd street Y which houses a beautiful theatre...an Off Broadway one.  Well, the gal to whom I spoke there, related to me; loved my script and loved the song selections I gave her on a CD.  She suggested we rent the theatre there for a five week run from February12th-March 17th.  I was on air!  I had gotten my show into an Off Broadway theatre!!  My cast, my daughter, everyone connected to the show was ecstatic.  Other small theatre producers wondered how in the world I had done this...some of them had been trying to get shows in there forever.  I was so happy, and so oblivious to how very much producing an Off Broadway musical involves--specifically the cost!!  Where was I going to get the money????

        One friend from theatre who had been part of a writer's group I founded several years back decided to invest in my show and gave me the money I needed for my start up costs...she is one wonderful friend and a very talented writer herself.  Now...how do I get the rest???  Well my son brought someone to my attention who is exceptionally knowledgeable of something I had no idea about---online fundraising websites...specifically one called Kickstarter.  He assures me that money can be raised from lots of small donations which can tremendously 'fill the bill'.  So we've made the neccesary video which introduces our show and tells what we're about to viewers....so we are on our way!

       At each juncture I have had doubts---mainly about the cost--but every horoscope I've read in my beloved NY Post (their horoscopes are known to be more on target than any other anywhere) and every prayer I have made to the Good Lord  have all virtually said I should 'hang in' 'believe in' and have 'faith in' this show which I've known from the start was the best piece I have ever written.

The show is funny; has rousing songs and dances, and offers some very useful hints for living for all ages. The topics covered are those to which everyone will relate.  So I'm 'putting it out there' for everyone who knows me and is familiar with my work (if only on this blog), to join in with all those who are already donating online.  There are perks that go along with donations such as tickets to the show; a Mah Jongg key chain developed from my own artwork (specifically a canvass I painted of Mah Jongg tiles) that can be worn with a necklace as well; and of course there are backstage meetings with the cast. Most of all you will be rewarding my effort to 'hang in' and have 'faith in' a product I know you will all love!!  Something which this blog suggests all you readers should think about doing if there is something you have always wanted to do; to write; to find; to accomplish....go for it! Have faith in it---believe in it, and take the steps to make it happen!

         Now here's the link to kickstarter which I truly hope you will all visit ASAP!!

Hope you've enjoyed this session..

Respectfully,

Mimi Scott, Ph.D
212 721-2979
917- 846-2449
mscott133@aol.com
http://sessionswithdrmimiscott.blogspot.com

WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON??

     I am sure it is worse here in New York City than elsewhere, but I'm hearing stories from all over. The news has become unbearable to watch!  Every minute there is a shooting or a beating or some frightening example of bullying. Women and kids are being thrown out of windows.  Stray bullets are killing 4 year olds and suicides are happening everywhere.  Within days of the Aurora massacre, five or so were shot in the middle of a basketball game in Harlem. This after 16 murders took place here over the 4th of July. WHAT IS GOING ON??

    People are ANGRY! That's what's going on! But... people have always been angry..and maybe they have said words like 'hell' and 'damn' as they did when I was a child.  As a teenager I was admonished if the word 'sh--' came out of my mouth. Now what happens when we get right in someone's face with today's swear language?  We get pushed!  And if someone pushes us, we push right back.  And if the pushing and shoving aren't satisfying enough, the beatings begin.  And if the beating isn't enough weapons are sought.  And the weapons go from clubs to GUNS!  It's downright DEPRESSING!  No wonder the suicides!

    A year or two ago I interviewed a lady friend living with her kids in Albany's inner city.  She told me that it is common knowledge for all the street gangs that guns are piled inside trash barrels strategically placed on the streets. And gangs really begin when just one angry person grabs another angry person to help take care of the perpetrator.

    And what are people so angry about?  Well maybe they don't have enough money for the things they want. Or maybe life hasn't worked out for them the way it has for you.(Holmes in Aurora had just failed an exam crucial to his getting his Ph.D) Others probably want what you may have. (Bullying typically comes from the 'have nots' who simply may not have your 'looks', or grades, or talents, or whatever). And if being nice doesn't achieve what they want, they get ANGRY!  And when guns don't do the trick for angry countries they use rockets (think mideast), and before you know it WMD's!

   The key here is people have always wanted what you may have, but they no longer are willing to take the route that you probably took to get it...and they want it now!!  Unfortunatly there are no shortcuts! Maybe if families go back to 1)explaining legitimate routes that must be taken to get what one wants, 2)they themselves go back to the 'hell' and 'damn' stage verbally 3)we put GOD back in our lives and prayer back in our routine, 4)GUNS become the possessions of only those responsible for our security...(and more of those trained for that are put on our payrolls), and maybe if 5)the guns lying around homes become unusable antiques, we have a chance of restoring order to our lives.

I dunno...what do you think?

Respectfully submitted

Mimi Scott, Ph.D
212 721-2979
917 846-2449
mscott13@aol.com
www.drmimiscott.com

HANDILING IT ALL...

Is anyone else out there having a rather turbulent summer?  Seems so  many are.  Either a mate or a child is seriously ill, or someone has lost either their entire job or a good part of it causing a real drop in income, or, someone close has died or is dying. Additionally, you or a family member may be going through a physical setback, a mental breakdown or something equivalent.  How much can an individual or an entire family take?  What to do???  Well to start it may be helpful to know you are not alone...many, many people seem to be stressed out far more than usual. What could be causing all this?

Well the obvious answer being thrown about is that the economy is...and no doubt it does have a great deal to do with things today.  Certainly the lack of a job and/or the lack of the same amount of money to pay for the things heretofore easily paid for, has its impact...not only on the mental self, but the physical self as well.  But more importantly is how those affected are able to handle all this.

I would counsel that one would take the time to actually write out what options one has. Itemize any leads on where and how one can increase income, and where one may possibly find employment.  List what can be done about our physical pain (doctors to visit. medicines to try, etc.). 
My experience with people who are most capable of reducing crippling stress however, focuses on two elements.

First...find a place to escape the turmoil..turn off the TV, close the door, take no calls. Take a walk; sit quietly by yourself in a favorite spot either in a room at home, at church, at synagogue, or in the woods, the mountains, the lake, etc.  Then breathe quietly...in fact simply hear yourself breathe for awhile.  While doing this imagine yourself in your favorite space such as lying on a lounge, hammock, swing or whatever it is that floats your boat...Then ask God, the Universe, or whatever higher power you believe in, to simply "be with you".  Just relax in the knowledge that you are in the hands of a higher power.  And trust in Him...trust that He is listening to you...Tell Him what is "going on for you" and you may just hear an answer or you may simply discover a thought you hadn't had until this moment as to what to do about your dilemma. Let the peace of this moment in time just wash all over you.  Stay with that for awhile.  Then slowly take in a very deep breath; count to at least five and raise yourself up.  You may just feel very much regenerated.

Once you are able to achieve this kind of 'high' it is time to 'work out'.  Bend, stretch, walk, jog, swim, jump rope...do whatever it is you do that serves as exercise. Know you are taking care of your physical self.

If all this takes no longer than five minutes of your day or fifty minutes of your day...it will serve to provide you with a newer sense of self that may either help in the long term, or simply help for the rest of your day....Think of it as your mini vacation.  In fact find some key words that you say to yourself such as: "Relax and Let Go" as you roll your head around, that you can do while waiting for an elevator...That readers, can be a real mini vacation!!

You deserve to feel better about your self, your life, your family, etc.  It may not solve any of the things that are causing you the stress...but it may just help you handle it all. 

Hope you have enjoyed this session...

Respectfully submitted

Mimi Scott, Ph.D
212 721-2979
917 846-2449
mscott13@aol.com
www.drmimiscott.com

IT'S NOT TRUE...

I am still alive....I have been on a hiatus in order to find a place to live! Statistics in my studies have always claimed that the greatest source of stress for people is moving.  I never found that to be true. Moving itself has become seamless for me (I've moved eight times since my husband died twenty one years ago...this will be my ninth move), however the feeling that you must leave your current residence before knowing where you are going is just plain 'scary', and absolutely loaded with stress. But for me, the stress emptied out from my body when I signed a lease on an apartment last week that fits my budget much more than my current, ridiculously expensive (especially for one person) does. The pressure accompanying this decision has dissipated, and the building into which I am moving is wonderful.

        That said, I realized that there is no better topic to address here than dealing with stress. And what immediately comes to mind on this issue is a phrase in AA's literature that says..."Let go and let God".  Since I first learned about it I have used that whenever I was concerned, and 'stressing out' about anything.  Faith is always there to comfort us no matter what we are fearful about.  But how many of us actually do take the time to converse with God, the Universe, or whomever it is you accept as a greater power?  To simply ask the Lord "to be with you" is like having a warm blanket cover your whole body.  To place yourself in His hands and have faith that things will work out is a magical moment.  I can truly say that this is what got me through the last few weeks.  Once you have this comforting thought take over your being, you become more clear headed and able to focus on the tasks at hand that will help you through your turmoil.  Indeed it was when I made up my mind to simply 'walk the streets' and find something myself, that I hit the lotto!  And saved myself $6000.00 in broker's fees in the process!  Finding a way to relax yourself in times of crisis is the key.  Which leads me to something else...

      Two million kids are homeless and 'walking the streets' at this moment...virtually having been turned away from their own homes.  As unbelievable as it seems there are many parents who allow their own children to become homeless.  I have become more informed about all this by a dear friend in Miami who is doing something about it. 

        Ami Lawson formed an organization called Earth Angel Outreach which tries to care for these kids (many of whom have been turned away upon the admission of being 'gay'), by providing meals for them, and by, believe it or not, trying to get them to to release their pain through artwork.  Crucial to the program is the Revolving Door Project which provides the kids with talented adult artists who work with them as they paint their 'doors'.  Once one adolescent feels nurtured and more peaceful about themselves, they in turn become lifelines for their peers in the same situation...I take a great deal of pride in being Ami's friend, and would appreciate it if you would take a moment to visit  www.Earthangeloutreach.org which may lead you to finding out about the Revolving Door Project. ( www.revolvingdoorproject.org ) All of this effort is making a true difference.

      If I, as a 'senior' woman, not without means, can become frightened of homelessness, I can only imagine what it is like for an adolescent to find him or herself standing alone and scared in the streets...I don't have to spell out the frequent results that take place for them.

     Sometimes the best way to relieve our own stress is to think about the much more potent stress of others and to let the Lord know how grateful we are for what we do indeed 'have'.  Please do take a look at the site mentioned above.

Hope you enjoyed this session...

Respectfully submitted

Mimi Scott, Ph.d
917 846-2449
mscott13@aol.com
www.drmimiscott.com

RESSURECTION, RENEWAL and RESURGENCE

What a great time of year! The blossoms appearing, the vestiges of winter disappeaing, and this holiday weekend bringing together a celebration of Spring for both Seder attending Jews, and Egg Hunting Christians. And both holidays featuring a variation on freedom....from shackles and death for some, from the tyranny of an evil government for others. Now what do we do with this marvelous season of renewal?

Some have been cleaning out the cabinets, closets, and drawers, while others are refilling them with newer versions of what was there...But how can we clean out the closets and drawers of that which is inside of us...maybe it is also a time for that kind of renewal. Where have our thoughts and views been taking us, or NOT taking us. Maybe it is time to rethink some of those ideas which have maybe held us back. One of my readers wrote me that he thinks of this Easter Day as a time of creative renewal...I loved that phrase. Maybe it is a time for recreating our thoughts, our ideas, our selves!! I'm a big fan of reinvention.

Sometimes a lifestyle with which we have been comfortable doesn't seem to fit like it had. What to do? There is always reinvention of oneself...here's where the creative part comes in. Who out there is reading to elementary school kids, or feeding those at the homeless shelters? Great ways to creatively reinvent and renew ourselves. If you've been in any kind of 'funk' lately, doing for others is a great way to feel renewed. People say loving ourselves is what must come first. I think making loving 'others' a priority is the real way we begin to love ourselves...just one more example of 'creative renewal'.

So, once the company leaves, take the time to clean out the shelves inside your home and inside yourself. Find a resurgence for yourself...see what blossoms...Ya never know.

Hope you've enjoyed this session...

Respectfully submitted...

Mimi Scott, Ph.D
212 721-2979
917 846-2449
mscott13@aol.com
visit: www.drmimiscott.com

RECORDING YOUR LIFE...(MY BIG NEWS!)

For years my daughter had said:

"Everyone should write a memoir,if for no other reason than to inform grandchildren and great grandchildren what you were all about in order that they can better understand where thay came from and who they are".

I really understood what she meant right away, because I wished my own father had recorded all his thoughts before he died. I considered him a truly 'great man' and wished that the world had been able to read all about him.

Well, largely due to my granddaughter Chelsea, I began writing a memoir
seven years ago. Luckily and surprisingly my memory really served me well. But I found that a memoir doesn't only record the events of one's life, but his or her own feelings about all the events, and how what took place really shapes who one becomes.
Even more importantly the memoir becomes a document that the author can refer to as he or she ages and wants to be reminded of the stuff that brought the tears and the laughter into an author's life. So as you move along, make notes and make a commitment to yourself to do this. Rather than therapy, read your book. The revelations about yourself become an amazing therapeutic element of the process.

Soooo...now all my faithful readers....you, for the incredible price of $2.99, may puchase my memoir called DOIN' WHAT CAME NATUR'LLY simply by going to Amazon.com and next to the All Departments, type in the above title. You can download it not only to all of your various devices, but if you are not that technically wise, simply download it to your personal computer. All downlaods are free.

Not to sound obnoxious, but those who have already read my memoir had all very positive things to say about it. Hope you all will too. No matter what, it is easy and quick to read (all 400+ pages),especailly on all ebook, IPad devices, etc. I'm enjoying it all over again on my Kindle,(which I have thanks to my son who did not want me to remain technically challenged).

Sorry I haven't been so in touch these last few months, but aside from getting the book published, I have a new musical I've written with a great composer and new friend, Nate Kaplan called Mah Jongg, The Musical. Indeed tomorrow are auditions for the reading at the end of March.

Finally, we've made some really nice jewelry from my art which we will begin marketing in the near future...so it's been kinda busy...but when you read Doin' What Came Natur'lly you'll probably notice that this pace was the constant throughout my life...Read it---you'll probably find out a lot about your self.

Hope you enjoyed this session.

Respectfully,

Mimi Scott, Ph.d
212 721-2979
mscott13@aol.com
www.drmimiscott.com

PULEEZE TAKE HEED!!

This week the news carried the story of a young man, a high school senior, who was a football star as well as an honor student, who was not only expelled from school, but who also lost his scholarships to top universities such as Brown, Harvard, and several others who were all courting him. Why?? Because he foolishly 'tweeted' some vile statements and racist sentiment. I was amazed to learn that colleges, and employers check all the social media (Facebook, etc.) to find any incriminating statements which may have been made by their applicants.

This is just one more example of how the internet can 'do us in'. Internet has become so much a part of our daily communication that it has become 'second nature' to us. An inordinate amount of our time is now spent texting. Young people and even older people are being texted that their 'relationship is over'. As one of my friends call texting...'cold communication'. For me it is great to let someone know "I'm running late" or "meet me at...in five minutes". But I'm sorry, a text does not cover everything..."so sorry to hear about your mother's death" simply doesn't 'cut it'.

Nothing can replace a voice!! Thank God we still have the phone (which doesn't even replace a visit when there is a heavy duty situation). Speaking of phones, while they can be our GPS, our restaurant finder, and our means of bank depositing, they most importantly can be our 'warmest means of communication'. Just the intonation voiced in a reply to something or an attempt at consoling someone, can make all the difference if 'heard' on the phone. How many kids have lost friends because they sent an email or text about something they thought about someone. It can be misinterpreted and even passed around so that everyone finds out what may be our innermost thoughts written in a way that they become negative rather than positive.

And the pictures that are sent on facebook!!! Puleeze be careful...a simple picture can rise to haunt you. Your body and your thoughts are "yours". Sometimes it's nice to share with others, and good wishes from people from Facebook can be very wonderful (as they were on my birthday when I heard from people I hadn't heard from in 40 years!), but please, be discriminating as you write. And for heaven's sake, take the time to 'go' into the kitchen from your living room to tell your wife
something important. Next thing you know we'll be texting each other while lying in bed together!! And eventually we'll be texting the sex!!

Just wanted to take some time to kind of 'warn you' or 'remind you' of how much your evey word says about you. And if God forbid you wind up in court one day arguing that you never said that which you are accused of, be sure you only 'said it' and didn't 'text it'!!

Hope you enjoyed this session. Sorry it's taken me so long to get back to you all...will be in more touch in the following weeks.

Respectfully yours,

Mimi Scott, Ph.d
212 721-2979
917 846-2449
mscott13@aol.com
www.drmimiscott.com