Sunday, July 29, 2012

WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON??

     I am sure it is worse here in New York City than elsewhere, but I'm hearing stories from all over. The news has become unbearable to watch!  Every minute there is a shooting or a beating or some frightening example of bullying. Women and kids are being thrown out of windows.  Stray bullets are killing 4 year olds and suicides are happening everywhere.  Within days of the Aurora massacre, five or so were shot in the middle of a basketball game in Harlem. This after 16 murders took place here over the 4th of July. WHAT IS GOING ON??

    People are ANGRY! That's what's going on! But... people have always been angry..and maybe they have said words like 'hell' and 'damn' as they did when I was a child.  As a teenager I was admonished if the word 'sh--' came out of my mouth. Now what happens when we get right in someone's face with today's swear language?  We get pushed!  And if someone pushes us, we push right back.  And if the pushing and shoving aren't satisfying enough, the beatings begin.  And if the beating isn't enough weapons are sought.  And the weapons go from clubs to GUNS!  It's downright DEPRESSING!  No wonder the suicides!

    A year or two ago I interviewed a lady friend living with her kids in Albany's inner city.  She told me that it is common knowledge for all the street gangs that guns are piled inside trash barrels strategically placed on the streets. And gangs really begin when just one angry person grabs another angry person to help take care of the perpetrator.

    And what are people so angry about?  Well maybe they don't have enough money for the things they want. Or maybe life hasn't worked out for them the way it has for you.(Holmes in Aurora had just failed an exam crucial to his getting his Ph.D) Others probably want what you may have. (Bullying typically comes from the 'have nots' who simply may not have your 'looks', or grades, or talents, or whatever). And if being nice doesn't achieve what they want, they get ANGRY!  And when guns don't do the trick for angry countries they use rockets (think mideast), and before you know it WMD's!

   The key here is people have always wanted what you may have, but they no longer are willing to take the route that you probably took to get it...and they want it now!!  Unfortunatly there are no shortcuts! Maybe if families go back to 1)explaining legitimate routes that must be taken to get what one wants, 2)they themselves go back to the 'hell' and 'damn' stage verbally 3)we put GOD back in our lives and prayer back in our routine, 4)GUNS become the possessions of only those responsible for our security...(and more of those trained for that are put on our payrolls), and maybe if 5)the guns lying around homes become unusable antiques, we have a chance of restoring order to our lives.

I dunno...what do you think?

Respectfully submitted

Mimi Scott, Ph.D
212 721-2979
917 846-2449
mscott13@aol.com
www.drmimiscott.com

Sunday, July 15, 2012

HANDILING IT ALL...

Is anyone else out there having a rather turbulent summer?  Seems so  many are.  Either a mate or a child is seriously ill, or someone has lost either their entire job or a good part of it causing a real drop in income, or, someone close has died or is dying. Additionally, you or a family member may be going through a physical setback, a mental breakdown or something equivalent.  How much can an individual or an entire family take?  What to do???  Well to start it may be helpful to know you are not alone...many, many people seem to be stressed out far more than usual. What could be causing all this?

Well the obvious answer being thrown about is that the economy is...and no doubt it does have a great deal to do with things today.  Certainly the lack of a job and/or the lack of the same amount of money to pay for the things heretofore easily paid for, has its impact...not only on the mental self, but the physical self as well.  But more importantly is how those affected are able to handle all this.

I would counsel that one would take the time to actually write out what options one has. Itemize any leads on where and how one can increase income, and where one may possibly find employment.  List what can be done about our physical pain (doctors to visit. medicines to try, etc.). 
My experience with people who are most capable of reducing crippling stress however, focuses on two elements.

First...find a place to escape the turmoil..turn off the TV, close the door, take no calls. Take a walk; sit quietly by yourself in a favorite spot either in a room at home, at church, at synagogue, or in the woods, the mountains, the lake, etc.  Then breathe quietly...in fact simply hear yourself breathe for awhile.  While doing this imagine yourself in your favorite space such as lying on a lounge, hammock, swing or whatever it is that floats your boat...Then ask God, the Universe, or whatever higher power you believe in, to simply "be with you".  Just relax in the knowledge that you are in the hands of a higher power.  And trust in Him...trust that He is listening to you...Tell Him what is "going on for you" and you may just hear an answer or you may simply discover a thought you hadn't had until this moment as to what to do about your dilemma. Let the peace of this moment in time just wash all over you.  Stay with that for awhile.  Then slowly take in a very deep breath; count to at least five and raise yourself up.  You may just feel very much regenerated.

Once you are able to achieve this kind of 'high' it is time to 'work out'.  Bend, stretch, walk, jog, swim, jump rope...do whatever it is you do that serves as exercise. Know you are taking care of your physical self.

If all this takes no longer than five minutes of your day or fifty minutes of your day...it will serve to provide you with a newer sense of self that may either help in the long term, or simply help for the rest of your day....Think of it as your mini vacation.  In fact find some key words that you say to yourself such as: "Relax and Let Go" as you roll your head around, that you can do while waiting for an elevator...That readers, can be a real mini vacation!!

You deserve to feel better about your self, your life, your family, etc.  It may not solve any of the things that are causing you the stress...but it may just help you handle it all. 

Hope you have enjoyed this session...

Respectfully submitted

Mimi Scott, Ph.D
212 721-2979
917 846-2449
mscott13@aol.com
www.drmimiscott.com