LET'S DEAL WITH LONELINESS

I guess this is for all the wonderful people reading who on occasion get lonely....it's ok...indeed there are many people out there who are surrounded in their homes by family who also get lonely. It is not great to feel that way, but sometimes we have to just soak ourselves in the loneliness for a bit, and then wash it off and get up and get going.

When is the last time you went through your closet? Or your drawers? Or even your kitchen cabinets? How about getting rid of all the stuff you don't use (along with the pounds you've no doubt lost) and donating it to those who could use it?

How about going outside now and walking the pet you no doubt have acquired, and if you haven't, go outside anyway and take a walk. Walk and notice...notice the trees and the leaves and the birds and the sky and the colors all around you (hope they're not all blue---we don't want to think blue), and if no one is nearby try singing to yourself (doesn't matter if you don't have a voice---you have a soul and it needs nourishment). When you get home from your walk try putting on some music and dance to it---yes I said dance! When is the last time you tired yourself out dancing? Nothing like swinging those hips and arms to feel alive. Now catch your breath and sit down...get a glass of tea (cold or hot doesn't matter) and relax.

Next take time for that healthy snack followed by your favorite TV program. Try not to make it the news--that always adds to depression. Hey, how about the beach now, or a good movie, or if you're lucky enough be in NYC--a show!! Every Easter Sunday I would go to a show myself and come out feeling totally renewed. At any rate this is also a good time to call whomever and schedule whatever, so you have a date to look forward to. It's important to stay in touch with friends--when one is single they become particularly important. And try to groom one or two that will always be available to you---very important to have a confidante that will answer the phone.

Another thing I have to mention is that you can always go out to dinner, lunch or whatever BY YOURSELF (or with the pet). All over larger cities people are out eating alone and reading a newspaper or book---if you don't live in one, start a new fad in your town! When you return you will feel like you can began your evening routine of TV or whatever, before bedding down.

You have now proven that you don't NEED someone to be with to enjoy your day. You have enjoyed it by enjoying you! By the way--you CAN talk to yourself if you wish. I give you permission. It's great to have conversations with one's self. And I suggest that you tell yourself how proud you are of yourself for changing your life so that you are now in charge of it! If you have a moment to slip into soft feelings regarding the past---take it and then remind yourself why you left your past situation..think about the worst moments---then congratulate yourself on making the change!!

Of course, many people are not alone of their own choosing. I found myself alone at 50 when my husband of thirty years died of a rare form of bone cancer at 52.

My kids were married with kids and my mother passed away just two months later. I was ALONE and yes there was immense loneliness. A lot of the above was what I did in order to fight off the loneliness---but ALONE--and choosing that for yourself is a whole other discussion which we'll deal with in the next session.

Remember you can email or call me if you want cauz I'm here for you---especially when you get 'down' for whatever reason...I'll be traveling up north this week from Florida and may not be as accessible as usual---but I should be reestablished in my lake home by next week this time, where I'll take time to offer you another session. By the way I'm waiting to hear your thoughts on topics you'd like me to address. Thanks for reading.

Dr. Mimi Scott
917 846-2449

Visit me at: www.drmimiscott.com