COPING WITH LOSS

As many of my readers know, I recently lost two of my four dogs. Kramer, my 14 year old Lhasa Apso, had been handicapped for 10 years, and was getting more and more difficult to handle. The vet and I both agreed it was time to put him down. Kramer went to sleep peacefully on Wednesday morning February 24th.

Somehow I was unprepared for the grief I would feel. Kramer had been my companion for the many years since my husband died, joining me in New York City when I was alone. He watched as I put on make up to go to each performance. I always told him I'd be back, and I always took him out the minute I got home. After he ruptured his disc, I learned that I could keep him with me at all times by putting him in a cart. I was tortured with these memories after he was gone. Each day I could not control my tears every time someone asked me where Kramer was....and then

Exactly one week to the day of Kramer's demise, on March 3rd, my little Coconut collapsed, had seizures, and was gone by that evening. It wouldn't surprise me if you heard the 'howling' that came out of me. A heart already in two just broke into pieces. I could not look at virtually anything in my apartment without seeing her there. I truly could not stop crying....and then

I knew there were better ways to look at all this that would help me. I realized while meditating (the absolute best thing one can do) that I had been blessed with an extraordinary life. So blessed, that the good Lord had seen fit to find me a little companion who would be with me as I journeyed alone after losing my mate. I thanked Him for giving me Kramer....and then

Knowing what an extremely precious puppy I had been given in Coconut, I marveled at the fact that of all the dog owners in the world, I had been blessed with the best...my little Bolognese, whom I called Coconut. She had been not only a gift to me, but to everyone with whom I came into contact. Everyone wanted Coconut, and she was mine. Thank you so very much Lord. Realizing all this took me out of my uncontrollable grief, and helped me to move on to the next stage of mourning.

Having turned into a painter in recent months, I took out a canvas right away and placed on it a poem I had written to friends, first about Kramer, and then about Coconut. On a sky-like background I found some significant pictures and placed them on the canvases as well. And then....

I went through all my pictures on the computer of the dogs and selected those to print out for an album to have around. After this I went with my other two dolls, whom I have neglected to talk about, but will, to my favorite store 'Michaels' and picked out frames and an album in order to complete my memorializing tasks.

After being in so long....I was still recovering from shoulder surgery and a continual laryngitis, and the weather was very cold and gray even here in Florida... it was time to step out. And finally I did. I dressed, made up, and went out and enjoyed the past two days which have been beautiful. And I have lavished attention on Lucie and Lorilu who I'm eternally grateful for. Along with the groomer, I cut their hair around their faces on his last visit, and now everyone thinks they are twins. And walking with just the two in my cart still brings smiles to all who see them.

I guess what I want to convey is that it is important to allow yourself time to grieve and to be depressed. If one feels the freedom to do that, then they can get past it that much sooner. And getting past losses may be helped by activities which memorialize those lost. And to sit and to meditate on all that is not lost and all that is still precious, will also take you to a new 'place'. I
thank the Lord for guiding me to this new 'place'.

Hope I've been helpful to all of you by sharing my own experience with you. Don't hesitate to write or call me at any time.

Mimi Scott, Ph.d
954 926-0133
917 846-2449
mimi@drmimiscott.com
http://www.drmimiscott.com/