Sessions with Dr. Mimi Scott

PULEEZE TAKE HEED!!

2012-01-22T10:11:00.000-08:00

This week the news carried the story of a young man, a high school senior, who was a football star as well as an honor student, who was not only expelled from school, but who also lost his scholarships to top universities such as Brown, Harvard, and several others who were all courting him. Why?? Because he foolishly 'tweeted' some vile statements and racist sentiment. I was amazed to learn that colleges, and employers check all the social media (Facebook, etc.) to find any incriminating statements which may have been made by their applicants.

This is just one more example of how the internet can 'do us in'. Internet has become so much a part of our daily communication that it has become 'second nature' to us. An inordinate amount of our time is now spent texting. Young people and even older people are being texted that their 'relationship is over'. As one of my friends call texting...'cold communication'. For me it is great to let someone know "I'm running late" or "meet me at...in five minutes". But I'm sorry, a text does not cover everything..."so sorry to hear about your mother's death" simply doesn't 'cut it'.

Nothing can replace a voice!! Thank God we still have the phone (which doesn't even replace a visit when there is a heavy duty situation). Speaking of phones, while they can be our GPS, our restaurant finder, and our means of bank depositing, they most importantly can be our 'warmest means of communication'. Just the intonation voiced in a reply to something or an attempt at consoling someone, can make all the difference if 'heard' on the phone. How many kids have lost friends because they sent an email or text about something they thought about someone. It can be misinterpreted and even passed around so that everyone finds out what may be our innermost thoughts written in a way that they become negative rather than positive.

And the pictures that are sent on facebook!!! Puleeze be careful...a simple picture can rise to haunt you. Your body and your thoughts are "yours". Sometimes it's nice to share with others, and good wishes from people from Facebook can be very wonderful (as they were on my birthday when I heard from people I hadn't heard from in 40 years!), but please, be discriminating as you write. And for heaven's sake, take the time to 'go' into the kitchen from your living room to tell your wife
something important. Next thing you know we'll be texting each other while lying in bed together!! And eventually we'll be texting the sex!!

Just wanted to take some time to kind of 'warn you' or 'remind you' of how much your evey word says about you. And if God forbid you wind up in court one day arguing that you never said that which you are accused of, be sure you only 'said it' and didn't 'text it'!!

Hope you enjoyed this session. Sorry it's taken me so long to get back to you all...will be in more touch in the following weeks.

Respectfully yours,

Mimi Scott, Ph.d
212 721-2979
917 846-2449
mscott13@aol.com
www.drmimiscott.com

BONNIE & CLYDE...

2011-12-10T12:15:00.000-08:00

Strange title for one of my sessions, but it had a strong impact on me.
Two weeks ago, while in previews, my dear friend Jeffrey Richards,(my first'boss' here in New York, who is this show's producer,and the guy who has produced most of what has been on Broadway over the last ten years), gave me a pair of tickets for his latest 'hit' BONNIE & CLYDE.

What affected me immediately, was the quality and strength of voice that the two leads,Laura Osnes and Jeremy Jordan possess. The standard has truly been raised here on Broadway regarding vocal prowess. The training and preparation that today's young stars receive has gotten greater and greater over the years. As a result it takes an awful lot more to compete today. But it is the love story that really penetrated with me.

The night before seeing this show I had watched a Mitch Bloom tv movie. Mitch was recruited to write a eulogy for a still vital rabbi. In investigating his life, Mitch came to know a black preacher who rose from the depths of the drug world to make a real difference. The part that got to me was showing the preacher as a child of poverty being told that "if you want something...take it!". This same doctrine was the determining factor in Clyde Barrow's life path. We take, get caught and eventually kill in the process. It makes me wonder with the economic crisis we now find ourselves in...what will be the result when the only way to get what you want is to 'take it!'

I am fearful of that, but I'm also thinking about what we can expect when our troops actually do make it home. I read somewhere that among those who have returned there is a suicide every 18 days. It has been traumatic for them. Hopefully we will respond to their heroism with the gratitude they so richly deserve. And if that isn't the message they receive, what will they turn to in order to survive today? Hopefully it won't be a repitiion of the criminal aspects of a war in which they have had to 'fight' and 'kill' for survival.

And as the mates of those returning soldiers, as well as those who have already chosen a life of crime, what do we do? This is where Bonnie & Clyde impacted me the most. Their raw passion for one another was so vividly portrayed that one is made to understand the loyalty of a mate who clearly sees the dangers ahead. As crazy as it seems one totally agrees with the choices made.

A musical that makes you think about the criminal mind and how it relates to where we are today is worthy in itself, but the fabulous music of Frank Wildhorn along with the performances of the entire cast as the love story is played out, result in keeping an audience spellbbound.

If I don't get back to you before the New Year...have a wonderful holiday season. Maybe take in a Broadway show...I would suggest Bonnie & Clyde.

Respectfully submitted,

Mimi Scott, Ph.d
212 721-2979
917 846-2449
mscott13@aol.com
www.drmimiscott.com

MAKING YOUR GIFT WORK FOR YOU...

2011-10-16T13:52:00.000-07:00

I've been back to working with groups again here in New York City and it still never ceases to amaze me at the commonality amongst people from all walks of life. Now, of course, whether rich or poor, it is everyone's time to wonder where their next dime is coming from or whether it will be coming at all. Everyone is trying to figure out how to survive one way or another.

In trying to help, one idea always kind of 'pops up' for me. In question form it becomes "What is your own particular gift?". Obviously I'm not talking about something material. I'm talking about what it is that the good Lord awarded you in this life. If all that comes to your mind is "the gift of gab" then stop and consider that. Are you currently making that 'work' for you? Are you a preacher, a teacher, a talk show host or even a paid MC? Maybe you are someone who has become a 'speaker' for your company or for whatever is your passion. The point is are you using that 'gift' which you were given. And, if that gift is, as we said a moment ago "the gift of gab" are you by any chance using it to bring in some additional income, or perhaps helping someone else without that gift, to increase their income. This is why those creative people who come up with a product need a sales staff to sell it!

Which brings me to...is your gift a creative one? Maybe it is writing, or music or even cooking. Remember 'Charlie' in "Two and A Half Men" wrote jingles for a living which provided him with a beach house in Malibu. If everyone tells you you are a great cook, find people out there who will pay for someone to cook for them.

And perhaps your gift is being able to help other people. If you don't have the training to become a professional, volunteer someplace. It may bring you to the attention of someone who can help you find a paying job, but more than likely you will find some of that 'good old fashioned' sense of well being that can help you feel better so that you can get through your tough financial time. Your gift can 'work' for you as a distraction.

One may not be a great painter, but just the enjoyment of standing there with a brush in hand can 'while away the tears' and make you forget your troubles, no matter what they are.

So, take some time and do something you may never before have done. Ask yourself what is your own particular gift that the Lord has given you. Maybe it's mechanics, electronics, or that computer savvy that some of us wish we had. Either way,find out what it is and start making it 'work' for you.

Hope you've all been well in my absence, have enjoyed this session, and are pleased to find me back at this 'blog' which actually contributes to making 'me' feel well.

Respectfully yours,

Mimi Scott, Ph.D
mscott13@aol.com
212 721-2979
917 846-2449
www.drmimiscott.com

THANK THE LORD...

2011-08-28T11:05:00.000-07:00

While it may have seemed the media coverage was 'over the top' to say the least, nevertheless, for the most part, all of New York and its 5 boroughs came out 'on top'! Something like only five deaths, while all the evacuees made it out safely. Pictures of streets with only boats for transportation were mind boggling, and walking the dogs in the heart of the upper west side for several blocks and seeing only 2 other people outside was also jaw dropping.

Of course the excitement during the prelude was kinda fun. Seeing Gracious Home, a very elite kind of home goods store, hawking D batteries with employees shouting "Get your disaster relief right here" was comically disconcerting. And the hunt for jugs of water and chinese food for takeout after most stores and restaurants were closed, was also a unique experience for New Yorkers. Of course, somehow a good number of Bars did manage to stay open.

I had a good friend from Florida, Melody, arriving here last Tuesday landing at 2pm. I guess hers was the first phone to ring when I called to tell her she would be stepping off the plane into an earthquake!! Most of Manhattan and its environs had been rumbling for about an hour, with most people totally unaware of what was causing their desks to shake and their pictures to fall off the wall. The news stand fella right up the block said everything in his kiosk had simply started dropping and making a mess. Who would have thunk???

So now that things are quiet (at least for the moment...there is some mention of tornadoes yet to come), I am really left wondering "WHAT IS IT ALL ABOUT?"
Certainly the Good Lord is trying to tell us SOMETHING...but what is it we can decipher from it all because you know the answer can not just be something obvious such as global warming. I think we need to look deeper than that.

Maybe Mother Nature is telling us that we are 'moving too fast' in every possible way--thus creating absolute chaos? Are we simply out of control? Is this a response to our crazed way of governing along with the volitility that surrounds us beginning with the family, as well as the new morality (or lack thereof) that now prevails? Has technology filtered into and confused the atmosphere with sooo much that nature is responding with an extremely loud and passionate "STOP!!!!"

Being amongst the seniors dwelling within, I don't think I'm alone in feeling that so many of my counterparts would like to yell the same kind of thing not infrequently. Maybe instead, we should 'Thank the Good Lord' for literally 'shaking us up' (at least here in the biggest apple of them all), and splashing our faces with the word "STOP"!! Then maybe we can take some time to think about where we are at, and how we can best find some new and quieter, while nevertheless creative, means for navigating our lives. Think about it...

Hope you enjoyed this session and are safe and sound with your power on to have been able to read this.

Respectfully,

Mimi Scott, Ph.D
212 721-2979
917 846-2449
mscott13@aol.com
www.drmimiscott.

UNREASONABLE DOUBT!

2011-07-10T09:16:00.000-07:00

I actually wouldn't feel ok with myself if I didn't try to do my part over the horrendous injustice that was done to two year old Caley Anthony. A while back I wrote a play called "Mind Tricks" which set out to prove that the protagonist was a psychopath. At the time I learned that there were proven characteristics of a psychopath set down by a gentleman named Robert Hare. Not recalling all of them, I can tell you that the lack of a conscience, the lack of remorse, and being a pathological liar stood out in Mr. Hare's list as much as they did in the profile that Casey Anthony projected during her recent trial for the murder of her daughter.

My jaw hung at the 'not guilty verdict' as I'm certain did most people's who had followed this trial on a daily basis. "Shocked" and "stunned" do not do justice to the reaction to this verdict. Personally I felt that the Prosecuting attorneys were excellent. For me Mr. Ashton tied Casey's every move during those 31 days to exactly what took place. But the jury obviously found legal loopholes to justify their decision. At first I thought the Defense was the worst ever as it was so obvious for people to see through what they were doing. However as the days went by I realized that the extremely far fetched 'red herrings' they kept providing were indeed doing the job to 'confuse' the jurors. It was, in the end, a briliant defense as 'incredible' as it was. I therefore learned that without an extremely intelligent and educated jury panel who are well versed in human behavior, this injustice can become possible. Sadly none of the jurors who did indeed decide to publicly defend their position came across as having these qualities.

However, for most of us watching, according to current statistics,there was no way on earth there was any 'doubt' at all as to who had committed this heinous crime. As a result I believe we must review and make changes to our current 'Trial by Jury' system.

First I think the 'voir dire' process should be reviewed, and there should be certain intelligence standards that those who 'will stand in judgement' must meet. My next suggestion is that a new choice should be added to the instructions to the jurors called "Un-reasonable Doubt". This would fall between 'certainty' or 'guilty' according to the evidence provided, and 'reasonable doubt' which says there is simply not enough evidence to 'prove' that the guilt is there. 'Un-reasonable doubt' would say that: "while I understand there is no absolute proof shown me during this trial, my reasoning still tells me that it must have been this defendant who committed this crime. Reason overules my doubt."

The additions of truly qualified jurors and "Un-reasonable Doubt" would not seem impossible to incorporate. Let me know how you feel and what steps one would take next in order to succeed in making these additions to the current system.

Thanks for reading...look forward to your responses.

Mimi Scott, Ph.D
212 721-2979
917 846-2449
mscott13@aol.com
www.drmimiscott.com

Vendor Wars..My Life on the Street

2011-06-26T09:26:00.000-07:00

Of course I learned many things from my experience on the streets of New York selling my Art and its by products. First of all Vendors are very territorial...don't try to take up their space even if they are nowhere in sight...it is reason for them to kill! I was very careful not to offend anyone, espcially my friend who had shown me how to get started and who was virtually at war with another lady who sold the same hats and jewelry. Secondly, do not consider selling in front of your building, even if your display is so much classier than the typical hats and jewelry. (Especially if your building is one of the classiest in New York). They do not want you to spoil the peace and quiet of the street. And you might not want to heed, as an older person, the warning to stay out of the heat. The one day I did, I found a kid selling lemonade in my spot.

After three moves I had wound up right in front of the phenomenal all glass Apple Store. I reduced from two to one table and got rid of the clothestree and aas a result I got many compliments on how beautiful my display was. I also wound up friendly with all the many security guards and cops in the neighborhood. They constantly check to see your Certificate of Authority which of course I had gotten and which was plainly displayed. But I got to know them through other means as well. I found out that you do not lean any of your paintings or products against government property. I had a tendency to dress up the yellow pole behind my table with a painted hat, shirt and sometimes even an apron. But if you place anything against the booth used for parking payments, believe it or not it triggers something that calls the police to come. (I met the handsomest cop in khakis and a blue shirt with a gorgeous metal badge that way),

Of course I was never given anything but smiles, but several of my vending friends were cuffed and brought into police wagons with me arguing with them that this "was a wonderful person who should not be arrested!". They did not listen to me, but the vendors who were on the street again the next morning, or in one case that same night, gave me some nice gifts--I got a beautiful card case for $5.00.

And as always---my dogs upstaged me and my art. People would head for them in their cart immediately, and about 1000 pictures of them were taken. One time there were a circle of about 10 people around the dogs for a good ten minutes when I mentioned to them that I had "some art here if they were interested". They laughed and just marched on. And there was the time Lucie, who hates skaters and scooters and anything that rides by like that, climbed out of the cart and tore up Broadway dragging Lorilu in the cart with her after one such skater. All of those outside the Apple store (and there are always those inside and outside that store no matter what the hour) were on their knees laughing so hard they couldn't straighten up. And as always,I attracted all the nuts in New York.

One was a very handsome, obviously cultured black man with a wonderful radio voice,who had great things to say about the clarity and fantasy qualities of my work. He explained that he had simply 'chosen' to live outside.

Then there was the Jewish ticket 'scalper' from the Bronx and Queens who could talk faster than anyone I'd ever known, who told me about all the warrants he had gotten from cops who invaded his home all the time. He claimed he never got arrested, and that he could give me tickets "cheap' for any Broadway show anytime.

And there were so many terrific people I talked to every day. Somehow they detected the therapist in me and told me their life stories immediately. The biggest topic of discussion however always was the dogs. Everyone always wants to know their age, and breed right away and somehow we both wind up talking about our dogs and how much they mean to us. That's how I made friends with several women my age who are also living alone with their precious pooches. I also found a few people who had also had knee replacements and we shared our scars with each other

But, believe it or not, it was the art that reallly made me feel good out there. People did take to the coasters, the trivets, the cutting board, the mousepads, the clock, the trays and the calendars right away. They also bought the painted shirts I was wearing, the hats, and the little pocketbooks for the kids. A painted apron or two sold as well. I had not wanted to part with the original canvasses I had hanging in my apartment so I had made prints, but it was all the items that turned out to be the 'stars'. Now I have jewelry and key chains with charms of my canvasses and I wear them everyday. People claim to love them.

The outcome is that the place where I had all my pieces made up is far more expensive then anyone on the street is willing to pay. It is a losing proposition. However...it has all pointed me in the direction of making up a great brochure, etc and trying to market these products to stores, companies, wherever. If you have any ideas I'm appreciative. My friend Paula was a marvelous help to me with all this and I call her my 'Project Manager'. In case you were not one of the many friends on this list who found me on the street and made a purchase for which I am eternally grateful, we will be posting these items online one way or another very soon.

This week I move from my one bedroom to a two bedroom in the same building. It took forever for me to find out that my building had approved me. If they hadn't I told them I was going to set up my table directly across from the entrance, with all my stuff including blankets, newspapers and the doggie beds and proceed to
call the NY Post!!

It's been a great experience and of course I'll be writing a show about it all.
Can't you just see a great tap number with all the different vendors??

Hope you enjoyed this session on attempting business outside.

Respectfull,
Mimi Scott, Ph.D
212 721-2979
917 846-2449
mscott13@aol.com
www.drmimiscott.com

GOD'S LATEST BLESSING...

2011-05-08T11:59:00.000-07:00

I have an announcement!!! No I'm not pregnant, and no I'm not getting married (but if someone may be interested....). NO,BUT I AM GOING INTO BUSINESS!! As of May
20th I can be found basically in front of my building---1965 Broadway, between 66th and 67th on the west side of Broadway, SELLING MY ART!! I have been given a license to do so by the state of New York and I will be selling framed prints of all the originals I have hanging on my walls in my apartment as well as mouse pads, coasters and calendars of my art. Along with this I have painted a number of tee shirts, blouses, pocketbooks, hats and some lovely aprons. I'm sure there is something for everyone! And I am inviting anyone who is reading this to come visit me there...even if you live in Florida, California or wherever...make the trip. It will be fun just to see you!

Now for the reason this fits into my "sessions". I have enjoyed an extremely full life. Indeed I wrote a memoir called 'DOIN WHAT CAME NATUR'LLY, THE MERRY,MADCAP AND MOXIE MEMOIRS OF MIMI SCOTT. Several of you have read it. I was and always have been blessed with a great family and with the world of theatre, film and tv. Then I turned 70...things quieted down. I moved back to New York from Florida...but...I had one physical problem after another. A knee that I had enjoyed having all those years decided it was not happy and wanted to be replaced. So now I have a new knee. But prior to this replacement I wasn't moving as I had all those years and my energy was simply not the same...actually it began while I was in
Florida. I became depressed. Someone suggested I go to do pottery with her. I realized that minute that I had always wanted to paint. The next day I had the easel, the paints, the canvasses and the brushes. I have been doing it ever since. It has brought me hours of peace and happiness. Now, while New York remains as busy as this city will always be, I will once again be participating---I will be a street vendor. Whether it sells out in a day, or I sit there for two months without anyone buying anything...I will be once again among the participants of the greatest city in the world----New York!

My point is---never give up. The lights in everyone's life go out from time to time, and sometimes it's necessary to just sit back and do nothing. That's ok. Because out of that 'nothing' always comes 'something'. I may not be on the stage for awhile (most likely forever), but I'm writing and I'm painting (and I do have a little show I wrote for those in assisted living facilities to enjoy that I am hoping to start taking around), so I'm doing all right! And so will all of you when the 'light goes on again' if you've been spending some time in the dark. God does indeed work in 'strange ways'

Now...if Mr.Right were to come along...

Thanks for reading. Hope you enjoyed my session, and please do come see me at
MIMI'S ARTISTIC MAGIC on Broadway when you get to the City.

Mimi Scott, Ph.D
212 721-2979
917 846-2449
mscott13@aol.com
www.drmimiscott.com

let's play CELEBRITY CONGRESS

2011-04-17T08:22:00.000-07:00

With it sounding like a real possibility that Trump may run for President, it struck me what would be unique to him that may just work to stabilize things.

He could choose, let's say five members of each party (forget the Tea Party please) and assign them a task...perhaps to find a way to lower the gas prices. They would then each find an arena to promote their thoughts. Of course there woulld be a Project Manager from each party to create and develop the promotional arena in which to 'fight their fight' before the public.

Then what would be voted upon by the public in attendance, would be which team made the most sense and was the most convincing. In fact in true American Idol fashion, the whole thing could be televised and the public could be asked to text or call in to vote for the team of their choice....maybe Ryan Seacrest could be solicited to host this part.

They would then all gather in Congress, and before the President they could all analyse who behaved and who did not in the process of selling their ideas. Here is where there could be a real 'clearing of the air', with the President awarding the winning team beautiful ribbons to wear around their necks throughout the congressional season.

Further on Trump, I saw what I thought was real, but what must have been a fake, haircutting on TV of The Donald which left him bald. He actually looked strong, commanding and great. I'm sure there must have been a bald leader since the King of Siam in The Kind and I, but I could not think of who it was. You'll probably know.

Finally, whomever was the best Project Manager would get to run for his/her party for the next election.

Just some thoughts....thanks for listening.

Mimi Scott, Ph.d
212 721-2979
917 846-2449
mscott13@aol.com
www.drmimiscott.com

GOING HOME!!

2011-03-26T11:12:00.000-07:00

By the time most of you receive and read this I shall have returned to my beloved NYC apartment following the 'The Big Cut' other wise known as my knee replacement. Ahhhhhh, there is so much to take from every experience...

The most important thing I learned from this one, is to never go 'under the knife' in any way shape or form unless a beloved family member, friend or hired aide is going to be with you 24/7 for quite some time. Hospitals are there to assist with whatever is needed in the OR, to carefully tend to the patient's vitals and medicinal needs directly following surgery, and then to bring the patient to a room.....AFTER THAT....FUHGETTABOUTIT!!

When you do not need help and really can benefit from sleep, they are there...every 10 minutes! When you do need help (to perhaps go to the bathroom) they don't know from you! You could wind up sitting on a bed pan forever before anyone answers the little cord you pulled. They have their own schedule to which they are trained to adhere, and you could be lying on the floor bleeding to death and they would step right over you in order to get the lunch meals out on schedule!

Our health care system appears to have taken everything into the equation but the PATIENT! They have to do what they have to do, and don't you, Mr. or Madam patient, get in the way!! This is why everyone taking a bed out should have an advocate. Maybe that way you won't have to wait till your pain is, on a scale from 1-10, a 20, before receiving your pain medications.

Just a note about medicines. I have 3 computerized pages of my medical history as well as everything I regularly ingest, both medicinal and herbal. Every doctor, either in an office, or in the hospital has always mentioned how good an idea that is to do. I always thought so, until on this recent trip I realized that there is absolutely no communication between the doctors, the nurses, and the pain medicine or pill people. On the rare occasion that they do seem to be on a wave length, the problem will then be that the medicine they ordered, (which you, of course, have plenty of in your own home), has not yet arrived from the pharmacy!!

And the nursing home/rehab care is about the same, only there, the food at least matches what you ordered...it may be inedible, but it matches. In the hospital it became a game to see how far from what was ordered the end result was. And pain does not help the PT process. Your advocate (and I had a great one named Leah!) needs to make sure that the painkiller is taken prior to the therapay. Most often the PT person would arrive and the painkiller had not been given so the therapy would be unbearable. Or, on the occasion when the painkiller had been given and you are 'rarin to go', the PT person is nowhere to be found!

Point is, New York doctors are indeed among the best, but our healthcare here is in the toilet! Could we not try to pay these people (who indeed are still attempting to do God's work) so that there is some compatibility between the two areas of medicine?

Hope today's session was somewhat enlightening. Owwwww! My knee hurts!!!!!

Mimi Scott, Ph.D
917 846-2449
212 721-2979
mscott13@aol.com
www.drmimiscott.com

PREPARING FOR THE BIG CUT..

2011-03-15T11:09:00.000-07:00

Something will be CUT out this Thursday (HAPPY ST. PATRICK'S DAY)...but it will be REPLACED! I'll be saying good bye to the knee I've been walking around with these past 70 years (well, I haven't really been walking around with it these past several months). BUT, I'll be greeting a new one (don't ask me if it is a gel one, I haven't found out yet). Of course I'll be moving around like a robot (you wouldn't believe all the equipment you go home with!), but a PT person will be around several times a day for a few weeks and then I can go to a local PT place. A nurse too will be visiting me repeatedly.

I'm having it cut out, otherwise known as 'surgically removed', at the Hospital for Joint Diseases on the corner of 17th and 2nd here in NYC. Dr. Joe Bosco (actually from Albany) will be doing the destruction and construction. The only thing I'm worried about is Lucie...I don't want her to miss me too much (I lost one dog of a broken heart, Coconut, when Kramer died. I don't want Lucie's heart to break when I go out the door. I'll have to talk to her on the phone so she knows I'm alive. Lorilu lives in another planet so she won't even notice I'm gone.).

So right now I'm ready to prepare, but I have to wait until they call me with the details tomorrow evening. I don't even know if I'm supposed to bring a night gown or pajamas. I can't imagine a pajama bottom getting over the knee, so I would think in terms of night gowns, but they will probably wind up being the stunning 'gowns' that the hospital gives you. I will bring my makeup however---I don't want to scare any visitors or even hospital personel. And I will bring my brush. Are any of you out there of a 'certain age' experiencing hair problems? When I wake
up mornings you do not want to be there. I look like I just stepped on an electrical plug! You know---the Albert Einstein look. It's terrible. So, the brush will definitely come. And the tooth brush as well as tooth paste. What do you think about slippers? I wear my open sneaks as my slippers....I think that's what I'll bring. But I can't go home in a night gown! What should I take to go home...I'm so fat already from not being able to move around as I always did, that I don't think I have a pair of sweat pants to fit. Guess I'll have to get a men's large to wear home.

Other than that, I have my dear little Jenny staying with the pups, (she cleans for me as well, so the apartment will look terrific when I return), and my dear friend from early theatre days, Justine, staying right beside me. She's a counselor, so she can calm me down periodically when I 'freak out'.

Thanks for listening---hope you have a great St Patrick's day---you know what I'll be doing to celebrate....can you drink with vicodin??

Love y'all...Hope you enjoyed my session.

Mimi---you know the doctor thing.
917 846-2449

HOW DO WE GET THROUGH??

2011-03-05T15:11:00.000-08:00

Sometimes things get tough for all of us. We get overwhelmed by our work, our finances, our family, our relationships, or our health problems. It can make us all feel really bleak at times.
Just what can we do about all this?

Believe it or not a little bit of Charlie Sheen may not hurt. We can focus on WINNING! We can call upon our own 'TIGER BLOOD' to fight the fight, or maybe we can look at OURSELVES as the drug that will see us through. Maybe we're not "ROCK STARS FROM MARS" but a little bit of looking at ourselves as though we were is not a bad idea. I saw what everyone else saw going on with 'Charlie' this past week, but I also saw some brilliance in the midst of the madness that we can all draw from. In fact I have already heard from
people who have decided to look at themselves in a more heroic vein.

But sometimes all the desire in the world cannot make something come to fruition. Especially in a medical sense. We can search and search for answers and when they do come they may carry with them some scary elements, or we can find out answers and while we may desire to 'win' the fight it may be fought in a very different field. Not the baseball field, the basketball court or the battlefront, but truly a field of our own creation. If a physical condition limits us we may fight it by creating an arena for reading, writing, painting or any other quieter kind of activity. The end result may make us feel very proud in much the same way as coming home from a successful day at the office does. Who knows, maybe some of these efforts could even be turned into a financial plus, thus inadvertently resolving some of those horrendous issues.

Also, we have begun to lose the art of conversation as so much of our communication is via email and texting. Sometimes, regarding relationship issues, just the sound of another's voice can color our whole understanding of what is 'on' or 'off''. Some of our spoken words can be poetry when heard, or vile when seen on the written page. I would suggest the written word for clarity and the spoken word for the sentiment.

Finally, value the beauty of a good night's rest to make things look so much more attainable in the morning. To insure the rest, try a good program or book before closing your eyes. Maybe they'll put Two and a Half Men back on later at night...that would send us all to sleep with a smile.

Hope this session has been helpful.

Respectfully,

Mimi Scott, Ph.d
212 721-2979
mscott13@aol.com
www.drmimiscott.com

DEVELOPING YOUR PASSION

2011-02-05T11:26:00.000-08:00

As I watch all the excitement over the SuperBowl, even without the Jets playing, I envy those who really get 'worked up' about it. How nice it is now that even the women have the shirts to wear, and the newspapers and emails carry great recipes to make for the event.
Whether or not football is your thing, it is impressive to see how much it does mean to how many. It is great to see how people share a real interest and how they actually participate in the celebration. I can't help being reminded of my father as he lay in the hospital, not really talking, and close to death as the cancer had spread to all of his body, yet wanting to watch the football game (can't even imagine what teams were playing early that December) and actually sitting up to do so.

Sports certainly do serve a marvelous purpose for so many in this world. But there are other things to become passionate about. Maybe it's cars; or skiing; or painting; or writing; or model airplanes, or pets that one may be passionate about. Whatever you choose to be your passion---follow it. And if you do not have one--find it. You will be amazed at how much your passion can ease the stress in your life. Indeed, sometimes the passion becomes your life. Certainly most of the faces we see on the stage or on the screen were people who realized their passion. How lucky for them.

But there are so many who never realize a passion. Whether or not your passion becomes your career, it is so very healthy to find one and have one. Stop singing in the shower. If you love to sing find a 'Glee' club....you never know. Maybe it's a church choir that is more suitable, but whatever it is you enjoy make it a passion and follow it. Sometimes just the research about what interests you can become your passion.

And the quickest way to secure that mate you've been looking for, may be to find his/her passion and make it yours. You may find you really love it (I think I may be talking to all the wives out there who will be watching the game), and if you just cannot really make it your passion---find a companion passion--make those recipes I spoke about above. I had a husband who never even had music in his home growing up. Marrying me, he knew that no music in his life was history. So after watching me rehearse one musical after another, I no longer found him sitting in the theatre seats. He was helping build the sets, or work the lights, or most often man the box office. Before long he was president of the theatre group, and then of the tri-cities theatre group. We had a ball because we followed what became a passion for both of us. When Barry was taken from me much too early, I was able to comfort myself knowing that I had helped him to find that which made his life, and our life together so much fun.

Enjoy the game folks!

Hope you enjoyed the session.

Mimi Scott, Ph.d
212 721-2979
mscott13@aol.com
www.drmimiscott.com

AND SO BEGINS THE NEW YEAR...

2011-01-02T11:39:00.000-08:00

The 'hoopla' (if you partied at all...I did not), is over. The Saturday New Year's Day which felt like Sunday all day, has gone, and thus we have begun 2011. Is everyone full of energy to 'get up n' go? If not you may be in the majority. If you live where the snow storm has just passed through and turned from beautiful to pure slush, you most likely experienced a drab beginning to the new year. This does not usually equate to 'get up n' go!' If you are all energized to attack tomorow and a new beginning God bless you...if you are not, don't worry you are not alone. But let me try to help elevate your spirit.

I think a new year is perhaps the Lord's way of offering us yet another chance. A chance to leave the past in the past and to begin again anew. I'm sure there were many things you planned to do in 2010 that did not take place. Well now here's your chance to repeat the effort and to hopefully succeed. And if 2011 comes to an end and you have not yet carried out your plan, you can view it two ways. Next year is a new year, or maybe it was just not meant to be.
After all "God does work in strange ways".

If you have already, less than 48 hours after the New Year was ushered in, broken your resolutions---do not punish yourself. Things do not have to begin right away...give yourself some leeway. Sometimes proceeding with baby steps is better than thrusting yourself right into the arena immediately. The gyms are really crowded today---let's see if the same crowd is there two months from now. You've probably heard that if a goal is to run two miles a day, better to start with one block a week and to build up rather than to try the two miles right away, run out of steam, and feel completely defeated.

Goals are great, and I think we should rename resolutions 'goals'. And set goals that are realistic. Everyone wants to lose weight. Setting goals for this is wonderful, but make them realistic. One half a pound a week is really a good one. And leave a day to cheat. To stringently deny ourselves is to fail...to find some time to relax the rules no matter what the goal, is to achieve with ease.

So, if tomorrow you plan to cut out all carbs, maybe think about including one good one for the day instead of none. So if tomorrow is the day to reorganize the house, feel good if you get one room done. If tomorrow you return to school or work, have a good time deciding what ONE thing you are going to work on or change instead of the whole 'megilla'. I am reminded of Elliot Spitzer who started his governorship by wanting to change EVERYTHING TODAY!! Need I say more...we all know how quickly he was brought down. Hopefully Andrew will come on with more finesse.

Take some time to think about it, and choose very carefully one simple thing to work on changing...just one. Give yourself the pleasure of saying: "I am going to only rehearse one number today". Do so and it will be great...save the rest of the numbers in the show for another day. Same thing applies to household chores, reading assignments, work related assignments, etc. Get in there and do ONE SIMPLE THING! But do it well....HAPPY NEW YEAR! Have a great one.

Hope you enjoyed this session....PS: If you meant to contact this therapist or any other one this past year and didn't....one small call is all it takes. (I'll be waiting...)

Mimi Scott, Ph.D
212 721-2979
917 846-2449
mscott13@aol.com

LOOKING FORWARD TO SILVER LININGS

2010-12-26T13:09:00.000-08:00

Last weekend with 100 friends and family, I celebrated my 70th birthday as well as the launching of my memoir book called DOIN WHAT CAME NATUR'LLY, the merry, madcap n' moxie memoirs of Mimi Scott. It was one of the most special and wonderful nights of my entire life. And the reviews of the book are coming in and delighting me.

I'm still amazed that it all took place. I felt like Job in the Bible all Fall. I was plagued with one ailment after another...three procedures/surgeries; about 1000 doctor visits, and a body that just wouldn't perform. Much of the time, I simply couldn't walk. BUT...I knew I had to get better, because I was looking toward that silver lining that was my special birthday, and the arrival of 100 of my brand new memoir books.

The whole experience taught me that one can get through anything if one has a goal, or if one can see 'the silver lining' in the cloud. Just the continual work putting the book together and completing it, and then seeing that the party would be the best ever (with great participation from my son Jeffrey and his wife Lisa), gave me something to concentrate on and to distract me from all that was going on physically. With a little help from something magical called 'cortisone' injected into my shoulder, my back (in a few places) and two doses into my knee, I was indeed able to enjoy that most terrific event...performing and dancing the night away!!

If anyone out there is having a really bad time healthwise, set some goals for yourself. Writing is a wonderful way to occupy one's self, as is painting which I began doing last year (my entire apartment is now covered with my canvasses). Maybe there is something you've been thinking about inventing, or putting together...now's the time to do it. And there is always all that reading you have had no time to do. Pick a date and tell yourself what you want to have accomplished by it. If there is some weight you want to lose or gain, be creative about it and use that same date to set as your goal toward that accomplishment. This is more than the resolutions that we will all most definitely make next week to begin the New Year. This is a way of 'getting through' when mentally or physically you feel down...which happens to us all.

Take my word that these past few months have allowed me to see what a beautiful silver lining there is no matter how dark the cloud...you just have to know it is there; find it and enjoy it to the fullest when it appears.

I wish you all a wonderful New Year filled with only pink clouds!!

Hope you enjoyed this session. And, by the way, I've begun practicing now that I'm really settled back here in New York City, so please contact me if you or anyone you know would like some (very reasonable) help. I'll also be starting a group for women of any age who are alone (or not)...my number(s) are below. Thanks for your help.

Mimi Scott, Ph.d
212 721-2979
917 846-2449
mscott13@aol.com
www.drmimiscott.com

KNOWING WHEN HAPPINESS HITS...

2010-11-28T11:24:00.000-08:00

Have you experienced the thrill of seeing your desktop cleared recently (I mean the real one, not the computer one)? Or have you recently resolved issues with your spouse, kids, parents or best friends? If so...shhhh...you may be on your way to some happiness. Don't jump for joy yet...just keep it close to the chest.

Have the headaches subsided a bit? How's the back? Still need the cane? Is the rash still there? Of the 8 physical problems you've been having, are maybe 1-2 going away? If so you may think about celebrating soon.

Ever since you've found yourself unable to shop in the same stores you were a year or two ago, have you noticed the Merona line in Target? Or the grocery level at Walmart's?

I guess what I am trying to get across, is the fact that our bills and paperwork can keep us in a constant state of stress----so take a day and clean up your desktop (the wooden one). Realize that of the 10 crises that the family issues daily, maybe the ability to fix one, or by some stroke of luck even TWO, you are actually sitting pretty! Same holds true for ailment numbers...if you are not scheduled to die from cancer---you're not just sitting pretty, but standing there strikingly gorgeous! And if you can find a $20.00 black dress that takes you to a formal affair (as I recently did)---you are in good shape in every sense of the word!

A clear desk, an ability to stand and walk, something to eat and to wear which make you
feel good and look great, and friends and family who generally are doing well, all may just be what equals that which is known as HAPPINESS! Recognize and enjoy it!!

Hope you enjoyed today's session as well as the holiday turkey!

Respectfully submitted*

Mimi Scott, Ph.d
212 721-2979
917 846-2449
mscott13@aol.com

*Check out the new headshot

WHAT'S REALLY SCARY...

2010-10-31T12:58:00.000-07:00

Today is Halloween, but it's not the flying witches that scare me. I'm scared of the 'monsters' posing as 'bullies'. And they are not 'out' just on October 31st. 'Bullying' has recently become a year round epidemic.

A year ago in Florida the news was all about a young fellow around 14 who was set on fire by classmates. This year here in New York, we're hearing about all the bullying of gays, whether
it be by video or by beatings. Of course for years there have been women (and no doubt men too) who are being 'bullied' by their spouses. What can we do about it? How can we save these souls from torture and abuse?

No question counselors and educators are working to put programs together in schools and other community venues that address the problem. Hopefully our legislatures and congress are thinking about drawing up bills for punishing bullying. But I have an additional thought.

This will sound very elementary and naive to all of you who are more sophisticated technically than I. But I've had an idea that I thought I'd throw out and maybe a reader can take it to the next step.

Being of a certain age and living pretty much alone, one is advised to get a medical alert if they are hurt in any way or if they are feeling sick. What it is, is a hook up to a center that responds the minute the person presses the button that he or she is wearing either around the neck or as a bracelet.

I'm wondering, after watching Criminal Minds, and seeing how they have equipment to trace the immediate whereabouts of suspects, if our police departments could not be available to private individuals who feel that they are in danger, and who are willing to wear discreetly, some mechanism that alerts help in an instant. These individuals would be those fearful of spousal abuse, molestation, and bullies, either in the schools, the community, or the deadliest--the home! Lives may be actually saved if this could be put into place. I mean think of those placed in trunks of vehicles, or mothers holding kids in a closet...you get the idea. Cell phones are a start, but I'm talking about a virtual 'button' on one's body.

I know we have home alarms to defend against 'break-ins', but I believe we need an alarm on our actual person, especially if we live in fear. Maybe there is a way for all of us to 'get registered'. I dunno---I'm just one voice who invites your participation.

Not quite a session, but perhaps someone will nevertheless be helped down the line.

Happy Halloween!

Dr. Mimi Scott
212 721-2979
mscott13@aol.com

SURVIVING THE SH**@ THAT HAPPENS

2010-10-10T14:15:00.000-07:00

Well we can always whine and walk around saying "ohhh woe is me" (better known as, 'Oy Vey' in Yiddush), and keep drinking from the cup that's 'half empty', (or maybe we can just plain keep drinking). OR...we can focus on what we have that still works. For example, after losing a job or losing our money, we can still thank the Good Lord for the arms and legs and the other parts of the body that are still intact and that may allow us to work at something else--if the brain is still in shape consider yourself really lucky!!

I've been walking around bemoaning the fact that 'getting old' really sucks! In the last few months, after resettling in good old New York City with the intention of renewing my 'Auntie Mame' role here, it's as though a huge invisible leg was placed in my path to 'trip me up'!!

It all began about six weeks ago with my left knee becoming intensely painful (of course it gave me an excuse to walk around with a beautiful pink cane I found in one of the catalogues for old people). Then the shoulder that was operated on last year for naught, really kicked in to cause me to let out a scream again with every movement. Following this I noticed some horrible looking skin thing on my arm and a scab on my nose that simply would not disappear. For frosting on the caske, the most recent blood work done indicates that I have a staph infection lurking in my body somewhere. (This would be the 3rd morphing of the one that came with the breast cancer operation in 2006)

It's reminded me of my favorite phrase "Other than that Mrs. Kennedy, how was Dallas?"
But here's the real message today...

Obviously the first thing to do is to find out what is going on from the medical standpoint (and I believe I wrote previously about how frustrating that can be), and then to determine what can be done. This past week I had my knee operated on for what was diagnosed as a torn miniscus. This was followed by a cortisone shot for the shoulder (which I'm keeping my fingers crossed about--at least they still work), and this week I'll be seeing the head of dermatology at Cornell Weil for what is called MOHS surgery where they keep scaping away layers of skin until all cancer cells have disappeared (hopefully it will be pronounced clear before the bone is reached). The good news is that I may be the first Jewish girl to have a nose job that she never needed or wanted!

The flip side of the coin is that needing to spend so much time in bed has allowed me to really work on my memoir book which should come to complete fruition in time for my big 7-0 birthday in December. And...by working on this book I have realized how lucky I have been throughout these past 69 years. I have indeed been blessed and should be slapped if anybody out there hears me complain (which you no doubt will).

Futher, I have had time to enjoy my painting and as a result there is barely an inch of space left on my walls. But I have the happiest, most colorful and artsy apartment in New York I'm sure. Every magazine or catalogue I get my hands on gives me more inspiration.

And, I have the stamp of approval that I made the right decision in returning to New York City as I cannot imagine going through all this in Florida without my family, who are here all the time, and my beloved friends here in New York who continued the tradition of celebrating with me at home after every time another procedure was performed. As I'm virtually next door to an Ollies now, it's been that much more fun. And they are still encouraging me to do a Zagat on the New York hospitals since I'm now beginning Round Two of them.

Of course, wouldn't you know I've gotten more hits than ever on the dating website I'n on, but I've had to tell them all that they will just have to wait until I can walk again, shake their hands without yelping, and finish getting my face rearranged by the Italian doctor I'll be seeing.

Hope you are all well and have enjoyed my therapy session that I've shared with you!

Mimi Scott, Ph.D
212 721-2979
917 846-2449
Mscott13@aol.com

ATONEMENT

2010-09-19T16:06:00.000-07:00

My friend Bill recently brought me a book called Heart of Wisdom. It is the kind of book one reads a page of, almost as a meditation, every day. As it begins according to the Jewish calendar, I began it on Rosh Hashanah, the new Jewish year, last week. Through these last 10 days, one theme was repeatedly mentioned. The theme of humanity, or as it clarifys further, being humane.

During and following Yom Kippur, while atoning, my mind was on this theme of humanity.
I, while caught up in all the events of the year that dealt with relationships, and with pleas to the Lord regarding all the trials, both physical and mental, that I and family members wish to heal and to overcome with His guidance, one thought kept intruding. It was a question really, and it was: What are you doing that is humane?

I believe that I shall focus on this more in the coming year. I just started by giving my wonderful challah bread, and Babka bread to the homeless. No real sacrifice as I was getting bigger and bigger with each holiday meal! I've had ideas already, regarding what to do for others and perhaps some will come to fruition. If my voice returns, I hope to perform my one woman show for assisted living facilities once again. If I get any response to an ad I placed in Back Stage, I will attempt to help struggling actors with both their material and their issues in 'the business'. And for what it proves to be worth for my family's future generations, I am dedicated to getting my memoirs, that I've been writing for the past six years, published one way or another.

All of this is 'planned for' in the hopes of bringing something to others. But for the most part, being 'humane' is unplanned. It is those unexpected moments when our spontaneous help makes a difference in the life of another. It is reminiscent of the moments after 9/11 when we here in New York, and all over actually, ran around begging to find out what we could do to 'help'.

Any newscast today shows us what is needed on a moment to moment basis each day. This year I suggest not burying one's head in the sand. Take being 'humane' seriously. Plan some things that you may be able to do as a gesture of humanity, and don't plan others, but become more cognizant of when and how you are needed every day.

The beautiful part of all this, is that all the petty thoughts we spend our time with, become really secondary. And each success in this direction, fills us with positives, so that the depression we all seem to be feeling so much of the time, is lifted, as is the spirits of those we have helped.

You see...the fasting and the 'atoning' sometimes produce some good effects not just for the 'atoner', but for the rest of the world.

Hope you enjoyed the session.

Respectfully submitted,

Mimi Scott, Ph.d
212 721-2979
917 846-2449
mscott13@aol.com
www.drmimiscott.com

WHAT HAPPENED TO THE WHOLE PERSON?

2010-09-05T16:14:00.000-07:00

Ok, so the last six weeks I've had trouble walking...actually been using a cane. Out of the blue I felt like a band wrapped around my left leg at the knee. PAIN!! Then it moved all around that area. Somehow I wound up at a neurologist who felt it was coming from my hip and my back where MRI's have proved there are definite problems....but my hip and my back were not keeping me from moving around. In fact I was still swimming every single morning. My knee was the problem!

Finally, pain is so intense I wind up in the emergency room. They tell me I've ruptured my 'baker's cyst'...does anyone out there know what that is? it seems we all have a bump behind our knee on the back of our legs known as 'baker cysts'. I was told that the fluid would be moving around for several weeks until it dried up and that in the meantime I should take the oxycodone that they gave me in order to keep on moving....Ohhhhh Kayyyy. No one seems to feel I should "get off my leg!"

Found a primary care female doctor who was something else! She has a formula that she goes by...first the examination, then a wait back in a waiting room...then what she calls an interview in which only she talks and inquires about medications only. Admittedly she did not like the look of my swollen leg (which I omitted to say was blown up like a balloon), and gives me a name of an orthopedic group.

A call there has them asking me what part of the body am I being seen about. I say basically the knee, but... NO BUTS!---they assign me a knee orthopedic guy. I see him. Prior to his entrance into the examining cubicle, I show the nurse the stuff I have brought with me: A CD from my back MRI's taken last spring; the hip MRI, and the results of the nerve test which the neurologist had done..(he claimed I have pinched nerves coming from my back and he also wanted me to see a hip surgeon ASAP). As soon as I begin my tale by uttering the word 'back' I hear the doctor in the hall say "I don't do backs!".

"Fine, but just maybe you want to know what's going on in my body that just may help you determine more about my knee", I say to myself.

When he actually enters the cubicle, I have had a knee x ray which he looks at (not me just the picture hanging) and he says it's simply arthritis. He then grabs the left side of my left knee and shoots me up with cortisone. He has never even looked or felt my knee or watched me move around before giving me the needle. Ten days later the leg is only a mite bit better.

My point here is...what the hell has happened to treating the 'whole person'??? Is not the "knee bone, connected to the thigh bone, the thigh bone connected to the hip bone..." as the song went. Pretty soon these orthopedic guys will only treat the index finger or the thumb or the pinky.

I have a 'Gynie' who has become very dear to me. That once a year visit still involves me talking about my life, year, etc. He treats me as a whole person.

Now I know most of you aren't trained therapists, but in any attempt to help the next person, one must inquire about other aspects going on in the person's life that may be impacting the problem. Certainly a back issue just may have some impact on a knee, a hip...maybe even a toe!

Now I'm looking forward to a top ortho guy who is from my hometown of Albany here at NYU Med...maybe he'll wanna know about my back, my hip, my ass or whatever else may be causing my knee to explode...if you see some knee parts floating on Broadway on the upper west side---it's probably mine.

PS: Whenever I stay off the leg for awhile...IT FEELS BETTER!!

Thanks for listening! And L'shanah tovah to all my wonderful Jewish friends.

Hoped you enjoyed this session.

Mimi Scott, Ph. D
212 721-2979
917 846-2449
mscott13@aol.com
mimi@drmimiscott.com

THE CONCEPT OF COURAGE

2010-08-15T14:46:00.000-07:00

The concept of courage is most frequently associated, and not inappropriately, with our beloved soldiers who put themselves in danger as they face the enemy. They are our heroes because of the courage they show. But the demonstration of courage is not reserved for our soldiers alone. We all demonstrate courage in a variety of ways.

As children we learn to be courageous when we encounter danger from that first 'injection'. We are told to 'keep a stiff upper lip' and most likely 'not to cry'. We go on to learn to be courageous when we suffer losses...whether they be in the ball park, in the classroom or even at home. Sometimes our physical or our mental capacity prevents us from doing or becoming that which we had dreamed of becoming. It takes courage just to 'move on' and not to just 'quit'. It takes courage sometimes just to stand up to those who would bully, and later on to grown up bullies who would like to prevent us from simply stating our point of view. It often takes courage just to 'stand up and be counted'...not to be cowed by others.

Indeed it takes courage to be a leader. To grab onto an idea and to manage to convey what you want to do to numbers of others who will then follow your lead and bring whatever it is to fruition. You must fight the battle of negativity from those who would defeat you.
This takes courage.

And it takes courage to bring about change both in your own personal world, or in the world around you. With all that is going on today in our country as well as in the world at large, if you have an idea that just may bring about change...show the courage to voice it!! It takes courage not to just 'bury our heads in the sand'. A hero is one who makes the commitment to voice his thought, and to keep voicing it until someone listens.

Most importantly, it takes courage to create a change in one's own life. And it can be very scary. If you find yourself in a 'rut' (and they are often dangerous as well as depressing), find the courage to somehow make the change. If you are not where you think you ought to be, find the courage to change your path.

Being in the midst of a major change right at this moment has it's frightening aspects. Just moving from anyplace else into New York city is a shock to the system...a system that's been surrounded by a more peaceful atmosphere for a while. New York city is not peaceful. But it is the most energizing and invigorating place in the world. I am garnering all my 'courage' up to both experience all that I can just by living here, yet at the same time to keep the sense of peace that just the coziness of one's living and working atmosphere can provide. It is exciting and frightening at the same time. But I have my 'courageous' self to rely on.

Wish me well as I do you...and if you are someone who is around to take and hold my hand for a moment I would be delighted to have you do so. You see sometimes it takes a kind of courage just to ask.

Hope you enjoyed this session. Looking forward to your comments.

Mimi Scott, Ph.D
212 721-2979
917 846-2449
mimi@drmimiscott.com

IMPORTANCE OF VACATIONING!!

2010-07-25T09:11:00.000-07:00

If you haven't taken yours yet---please do it!! And if you have a choice take it by the water, preferably the ocean or my favorite--the lake. Don't make it an obligatory vacation in the sense of taking it with people who keep you tense rather than relaxed. Serenity is what to search for in making your plans.

That doesn't mean to say that partying is a no no. If that's what takes your mind off all the issues you're struggling with---go for it. But keep it to a minimum...otherwise you're trading one problem for another. But do bring along a diversion.

Good conversation, books, painting and water splashing truly are restorative. If you need constant activity, just take only a short time out to enjoy the above, but do give yourself the gift of removal---removal from all those bills, health worries, unwanted emails, texts, and of course people!!

I personally need the break from paperwork. At times I have really been totally overwhelmed by these kinds of demands. So sitting here at my lake home and peacefully working on the documentation of the memoir I've been writing for over six years (obviously with some very long breaks), and doing some swimming and sunning each morning, have all been unbelievably helpful in resting my mind so I'm prepared for the pace of New York city which I have loved so very much as well.

In the past I never took advantage of this place as the getaway it can be. Now, with age, I realize its importance and I'm happy in the knowledge that there is a place for me to go to return to a quieter sense of self.

If you cannot take the time to travel to serenity, here's a way to 'vacation' sitting right in your office. Take out five to seven minutes and sit down and do the following:

With your eyes closed imagine yourself at the beach, or the lake. Talk first to your toes and then travel up your legs telling these body parts to simply relax and to feel like jelly. Continue up to your pelvic and stomach area, to your chest and arms and into your neck and your head. Think of yourself as a limp rag doll at the beach. Hear the water splashing and just concentrate on your breathing...nothing else. After awhile, send a message to all these body parts of energy, and then slowly let the good feeling take you over. Open your eyes, stretch, and return to life with a renewed sense. It is a great way to take a vacation any time you need one. You can even shorten the process so that you can do it while waiting for an elevator!

Finally, if you cannot get away by water, go someplace with just yourself even for a day or two. This too is restorative. But folks...it's still summer---take a vacation!

Hope you enjoyed the session...Be back in NYC on and off until the 15th when life down there really starts for me!

Mimi Scott, Ph.D
917 846-2449
212 721-2979
mimi@drmimiscott.com or mscott13@aol.com

NEW BEGININGS...LETTING GO

2010-07-04T08:33:00.000-07:00

This past week I experienced the high school graduation of my only grandson Dylan from High School; my move back to my beloved New York City from Florida; and the loss of my 98 year old Uncle Moe. It was quite an emotional time.

For all of us it will be a 'new beginning'. For Dylan of course he will begin that wonderful period of life at college. For me I will hopefully bring new participation to the world of show business as well as to the world of my new passion of painting. For uncle Moe he has shed the cloak of this world in order to 'begin' his sojourn into the heavenly sphere. All of us must actually 'let go' in some way in order to experience that 'new beginning'

Uncle Moe and my Aunt Gert, who will be 98 this August, celebrated their 75th anniversary this past Fall. Indeed their milestone was noted in the US congress. As such they have been idols of mine. Together since they were 12, they truly were a pair throughout their time here. And certainly for the moment this will be a 'new beginning' for Aunt Gert whom I expect will be around for another 10 years...she is perhaps the strongest woman I know...a real pisser! When told that her beloved Moe was about to pass, her response was: "What do you expect. He's 98 years old!"

Not too long ago I tried to get information from Aunt Gert about which I could write. In asking what it was that made her partnership last so long, she replied: "You learn to let go' This adage helps me feel that Aunt Gert will somehow be able to "let uncle Moe" go and to 'move on'. But there is very much more to the process of 'letting go'.

Of course Dylan will be 'letting go' of the safety and security of his wonderful parents, sister and home. I will be 'letting go' of the beautiful surroundings and weather I enjoyed in Florida, plus my two beloved pups who died there this past year, and Uncle Moe will 'let go' of all that this world represented in order to pass into the next one free of the pain and stress of this life.

But all of us would do well to learn to 'let it go'. Certainly in our relationships where we often harbor the slights and offenses of our partners, relatives and friends. What good is it to let the anger 'eat us up' when we can choose to 'let go' and thus open the door to new understandings and, in some cases where the situations are truly toxic, to new partners, friends, etc. I try to remember Aunt Gert's words when I get 'petty' about utterances and deeds of those with whom I have been involved. On occasion I actually succeed.

So I want to take this moment to say "So Long" to the wonderful, kind man that my Uncle Moe was; to my beloved Dylan as he 'flies the coop' and to the many friends that I found during my somewhat short stay in that beautiful land...stay in touch.

And all you guys in New York...here I come! It won't be long before I get you all over to my new digs and we babble about all our 'new beginings'

Hopefully you enjoyed this session.

Mimi Scott, Ph.d
917 846-2449
212 721-2979 (Sound familiar? Believe it or not, I got my same number back!

YES...YOU CAN GO HOME AGAIN!!

2010-05-23T12:38:00.000-07:00

When I was in my early thirties I hosted and produced a morning TV talkshow on the upstate New York ABC affiliate. Never was there as exciting a day as the day they asked me to do that show. And it was a fabulous experience every single day that I did it. Nevertheless two years later, I made the decision to leave that show and to spend several days a week in New York City where I would proceed to make numerous TV commercials. At that time, I had a psychologist friend who told me that I was one of the 'lucky ones' as I knew when it was time to 'move on'. So many people either do not know, or if they do, they do not have the courage to do so.

In December of 2007, I made a move from New York City where I had spent the last 16 years, to Hollywood, Florida. I was convinced, following breast cancer, that I could no longer handle the weather of the North. For two seasons (each summer I have returned to spend a few months at my lakehouse outside Albany), I had a wonderful time. The groups I found myself leading for two years were immensely satisfying. During the first season they led to saving the life of a sixteen month old, and the second year found some women living alone making important changes in their lives. This past year, however was a different story.

It began with a number of financial issues which left me very stressed. Physical illnesses followed, and then I had surgery to repair a tendon in my rotator cuff, which was less than successful in terms of alleviating pain. In addition, the healing involved wearing a football sized bandage under my armpit for six weeks which I now know is responsible for the immense back pain that developed. Add to this the loss of two beloved dogs, and you probably get the idea.
But, I believe, it all happened for a reason.

If I had not fallen 'under the weather' which is somewhat inevitable at my age, I would have gone on believing that one can recover and return to a sense of well being without the presence of family and some very, very special friends. You see, I was gifted during my years in New York city. Theatre involvement brings people into one's life that are like no other. There is a different kind of bond. It doesn't come from 'lunching'. It comes from working together to bring about a significant 'work'. You become a family, and when one is down, so are the rest.

I therefore thank the good Lord, for showing me where I truly belong. And I am 'lucky' once again to know that it is time to 'move on'. Yes, I am 'moving on' by going 'home'.
I am going back to the life and 'energy' that awaits me in New York city. Indeed I will be living, as I have in the past, on the upper west side right on Broadway. Friends, projects, and family are waiting for me there. I won't be alone even if I stay inside and watch the crappy weather.

I write this in order to encourage any of you reading this, who may be feeling that there is more to life than what you are currently experiencing, to find the courage to 'move on' and to make the necessary change. Surrounding yourself where there is love, I believe, is the most important consideration. It affords one the strength to 'carry on' doing whatever it is that makes one continue to feel 'alive'.

Those of you fortunate enough to have a partner, may have an easier time 'wherever', as you begin your jouney with a loved one at your side no matter where you are. I never even considered all the above during the thirty years I had Barry Scott as my partner. And I believe that if either of us was not 'living' to the fullest wherever we were, a change would have been agreed upon. And for those of you with partners in whom you do not have this kind of trust, have the courage to examine that.

Proceed with love wrapped around you, so that you can feel free to offer your love to the world, and so that you will be aided and inspired in accomplishing all your magnificent efforts.

Hope you enjoyed this session, and please know that I will continue to be there for you in this therapeutic framework wherever I am.

Mimi Scott, Ph.D
917 846-2449
mscott13@aol.com

PULEEEZE TAKE NOTE!

2010-04-04T10:19:00.000-07:00

Today is Sunday, Easter Sunday, so I would like to wish you all a Happy Easter. I would also like to say that I hope everyone has had a happy and healthy Passover. That said, being a Sunday I was able to listen to several of the talk shows on TV. I realized that there is a lot to address. Some of what I have to say may come across as political, but I must say it nevertheless.....so here goes.

First I was upset to learn that most of our GM cars are sold in China. This goes hand in hand with the fact that there is still so much employment from our country sent to other countries to perform as it appears to be cheaper. Well, we now have over 4 million people out of work! I would like to ask all of you to really be on the lookout for jobs that become or could become available. If they aren't forthcoming---create some. I know most of you reading this will feel that you are not in a position to do so. Perhaps however, you know someone who is. Talk to them whenever you can.

I further believe that the unemployment is directly related to the amazing crimes that are being committed. Here in Florida it is like nowhere else I have ever lived. The anger is so great. Especially amongst the young people. Having money and all that it affords, indeed takes away our greatest stressors. Not having the money and all that it affords, is creating havoc with our society in terms of crime being used, perhaps, as release of this anger. Once again, please do what you can to get our workers back to work!!

On a more personal note I am very concerned about Israel not remaining a Jewish state.
My father was a member of the Hagannah, the Israeli underground. I, as an eight year old remember him talking about getting men into his office in order to raise enough money to get 300 children out of Poland that night! He had a part in obtaining the generators to guide ships filled with Holocaust survivors into Israel. There was tremendous excitement in our home in 1948 when Israel became an independent Jewish state.

Folks, antisemitism hasn't gone away. It probably never will. For this reason I was shaken to the core when a cameraman working on the set of my tv show, Coffeebreak, in 1972-73, told me during the oil crisis that was taking place: "If I'm cold this winter, I'm going to burn you!"

My first reaction was to ask myself where we would go if this kind of antisemitism were to grow in the USA. Only the word "Israel" came to my mind. And if you look at a globe you will have to plan for some time to even find Israel. It is a speck in this world. But a speck that has shown the rest of us so very much. So much of our intelligence comes from Israel. From an arid desert, they have made the most beautiful land. So please let Hillary know that once we open the borders, Israel, as a safe Jewish state will be gone! We all are aware of the Palestinian track record and we've all heard from Hamas and from Iran that they would like to erase Israel from the face of the earth. Israel has managed to stand up to all the scapegoating and bullying. Please convince our government to remain solidly in their corner as they always have.

Thanks for listening to my outrage...I'm just trying to do my part in bringing some order to the chaos around us. Hope you enjoyed the session...I look forward to hearing from you.

Mimi Scott, Ph.d
mscott13@aol.com
http://www.drmimiscott.com/
954 926-0133

WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO?

2010-03-21T09:47:00.001-07:00

I'm glad the country is beginning a campaign to fight youthful obesity, but we need another kind of campaign started that should be aimed at the kids as well. I'll tell you why.

Last Fall a high school kid here in south Florida was burned almost to death by his school friends. This past week a young girl was beaten so that she is hanging on to her life by a thread in the hospital. What is going on and what are we going to do about it?

Our kids seem totally desensitized to violence. And why not? The video games which they play repeatedly are filled with it. Even shows on the Disney channel have surprised me. ( I keep it on for my pups to listen to the fun voices). Guns are so easy to come by that if one gets mad at someone all they have to do is go home, get a gun and shoot them. They don't even have to go home. In some neighborhoods, I recently learned, they are kept in a trash bin on the street. We have lost our character and our morality. And kids are not afraid to go to jail. They get their three meals and better health benefits than we do, plus the training on how to be a better criminal.

And the internet!! We have to warn our kids repeatedly not to expose themselves on the internet...it can easily return to haunt them. And if those in authority (parents, school administrators, community leaders ---if there is such a thing) find out about sexual explicitness or threats that are being made on the internet what are they doing about it? There appears to be no real retribution for the criminal type acts that are being committed in cyber space.

On tv this morning were scenes of protestors walking the halls of Congress while shouting and spitting at members of whatever party. These were not kids. How did they get in there in the first place? Wow are our government behaviors setting wonderful examples for the kids! If you don't like something then yell, spit, shove or probably soon---just beat them to a pulp. Or worse yet 'shoot' 'em!

What can we do? I say organize town hall meetings. Bring in some respected leaders (there must be some that are out there not cheating on their wives), psychogists, PTA presidents, whomever, and let's get some ideas as to what to do about this problem. We used to have to take seriously any kid who says something about killing themselves. Now we have to take even more seriously any kid who says something about killing anyone else.

Of course these things are happening because parents are out of jobs or not around altogether. Obvioulsy many factors from family life play a very important part in what's going on. And our moral code still begins with the first people who take care of us. And it sure doesn't help if they are abusing one another either. How many families sit down to a meal together and actually talk? That would be a good place to start.

What has simply happened to the teaching of right and wrong? Where are the healthy outside games? Who's playing sports after school, or taking an art class, or one in theatre, or chess? Maybe these activities can make the kids feel good about themselves and dispel their anger toward others while at the same time keep them occupied away from the grounds where crimes take place.

Lets write or talk to our Mayors and schedule some time to work on this very dangerous pattern that is growing. Let's take some kind of action, or who cares about terrorism? We're destroying ourselves with the terrorism of the bullies that appear to make up our youth.

'Nuff said' Maybe this session will do some good somehow. Love you all...

Dr. Mimi Scott
954 926-0134
917 846-2449
Mimi@drmimiscott.com
http://www.drmimiscott.com/

COPING WITH LOSS

2010-03-14T11:26:00.000-07:00

As many of my readers know, I recently lost two of my four dogs. Kramer, my 14 year old Lhasa Apso, had been handicapped for 10 years, and was getting more and more difficult to handle. The vet and I both agreed it was time to put him down. Kramer went to sleep peacefully on Wednesday morning February 24th.

Somehow I was unprepared for the grief I would feel. Kramer had been my companion for the many years since my husband died, joining me in New York City when I was alone. He watched as I put on make up to go to each performance. I always told him I'd be back, and I always took him out the minute I got home. After he ruptured his disc, I learned that I could keep him with me at all times by putting him in a cart. I was tortured with these memories after he was gone. Each day I could not control my tears every time someone asked me where Kramer was....and then

Exactly one week to the day of Kramer's demise, on March 3rd, my little Coconut collapsed, had seizures, and was gone by that evening. It wouldn't surprise me if you heard the 'howling' that came out of me. A heart already in two just broke into pieces. I could not look at virtually anything in my apartment without seeing her there. I truly could not stop crying....and then

I knew there were better ways to look at all this that would help me. I realized while meditating (the absolute best thing one can do) that I had been blessed with an extraordinary life. So blessed, that the good Lord had seen fit to find me a little companion who would be with me as I journeyed alone after losing my mate. I thanked Him for giving me Kramer....and then

Knowing what an extremely precious puppy I had been given in Coconut, I marveled at the fact that of all the dog owners in the world, I had been blessed with the best...my little Bolognese, whom I called Coconut. She had been not only a gift to me, but to everyone with whom I came into contact. Everyone wanted Coconut, and she was mine. Thank you so very much Lord. Realizing all this took me out of my uncontrollable grief, and helped me to move on to the next stage of mourning.

Having turned into a painter in recent months, I took out a canvas right away and placed on it a poem I had written to friends, first about Kramer, and then about Coconut. On a sky-like background I found some significant pictures and placed them on the canvases as well. And then....

I went through all my pictures on the computer of the dogs and selected those to print out for an album to have around. After this I went with my other two dolls, whom I have neglected to talk about, but will, to my favorite store 'Michaels' and picked out frames and an album in order to complete my memorializing tasks.

After being in so long....I was still recovering from shoulder surgery and a continual laryngitis, and the weather was very cold and gray even here in Florida... it was time to step out. And finally I did. I dressed, made up, and went out and enjoyed the past two days which have been beautiful. And I have lavished attention on Lucie and Lorilu who I'm eternally grateful for. Along with the groomer, I cut their hair around their faces on his last visit, and now everyone thinks they are twins. And walking with just the two in my cart still brings smiles to all who see them.

I guess what I want to convey is that it is important to allow yourself time to grieve and to be depressed. If one feels the freedom to do that, then they can get past it that much sooner. And getting past losses may be helped by activities which memorialize those lost. And to sit and to meditate on all that is not lost and all that is still precious, will also take you to a new 'place'. I
thank the Lord for guiding me to this new 'place'.

Hope I've been helpful to all of you by sharing my own experience with you. Don't hesitate to write or call me at any time.

Mimi Scott, Ph.d
954 926-0133
917 846-2449
mimi@drmimiscott.com
http://www.drmimiscott.com/

THINGS I'VE RECENTLY LEARNED...

2010-02-13T11:12:00.000-08:00

For the past five weeks I have basically been confined to my apartment. I had shoulder surgery on the 6th of January and the pain I felt both from breast cancer and the accident I had in 1992 when I collapsed and punctured both lungs and broke all my ribs, were 'a piece of cake' next to all this. Under my right arm is a football sized bandage that is strapped to me in various ways. After five weeks of carrying this weight around, I may just jump off my balcony.

The neighborhood has become somewhat used to me. Thankfully I had a large baseball jacket that I could wear out---but this is Florida and it can get really hot wearing a jacket in the sun. In Walgreens they looked at me as an escapee from a hospital ward when I walked in jacketless. The discomfort has been immense, and upon emerging from the hospital I was accompanied by a 'bug' of some sort that has taken three different antibiotics before two days ago when I felt normal for the first time. Indeed I actually now have the energy and enough mobility to make this blog entry.

As always however, God has sent me angels to help me through.

My friend Melody stayed with me upon my release from the hospital and was amazing in her love and care. My friend Laura, who is devoted to my dogs, lights up each day for me. And a gentleman, Bob, whom I met the Sunday before the operation has been an absolute gift, being here often; getting me out to a dinner, and even taking me to doctor appointments. Several in the building have visited, as have a very few women whom I now treasure. My truly good friend Lynnia found time to make me an album and a CD of a party I'd had here in December, and of course those of you who have found time to call me have virtually 'made my day'.

What I would do without the voices of my kids and grandkids I have no idea. Karen has had to have a phone permanently attached to her ear in order to accomodate her kids, her mother, and sometimes even her husband. Jeffrey who was present for my operation, has had to help me deal with some amazing business/financial events which will be the subject of a future blog. Each week another issue provided me with untimely and unwelcome stress.

My beloved friends such as Jaid and Bill in New York have as always been there for me. A cousin, Diane, who lives here in South Florida and who also has had health issues has become a soulmate---visiting, calling and making soup for me. An old friend from my youth who contacted me when he read about me in the Miami Herald a year and a half ago, has also become something of a soul mate, sharing with me his victories over health issues and making sure he's there if there is anything I need. All the above have been blessings.

This is what I have learned however, is now my respsponsibility to impart.

If y0u feel someone is your friend---be there. Not just to party with that person, but to care when they are down. A simple call makes a huge difference, even an email helps, and a visit is a treasure. If you really value the friendship it is worth putting yourself out for them...I know now how much it means and will continually remind myself when the situation is reversed. It was especially difficult for me as my family are basically all up north, and I live alone. For a woman in my position a mate makes a huge difference at these times. So if any of what I've said sends you readers out there over to visit or call an ailing friend, I will have succeeded in what I've imparted. And that will make me very happy.

Stay well and please let me know when you are not, so I can be there for you. You deserve it.

With love and gratitude
Mimi Scott, Ph.D
954 926-033
www.drmimiscott.com
mimi@drmimiscott.com

LIFE IS A FIGHT!

2010-01-17T12:33:00.000-08:00

Initially we fight for that first breath. Then we have to deal with the bullies all through our school years that want us to be losers so they can be winners. Somehow we have to win them over so that they do not destroy our spirit.

We must fight to be able to study through all this so that we can get to the right school in order to fight our way to the right university where we have to fight to stay in until we win that degree. All this so that we can engage in the fight for the job that affords us the right to live without worry. And with success comes the fight to stay on the top.

We have to fight our way back to happiness after the heartbreak of a lost romance, mate, or child. We have to fight our way back from illness and we have to help those around us fight their way back from whatever disaster they are experiencing, as no fight can be won without support.

We have to fight those who would terrorize us all through our life. And sometimes the terror comes from a natural disaster, such as our Haiitian friends are fighting right now. We must do what we can to support them. God bless those who are fighting their way through the muck and stench just to be able to give that holy kind of support.

And ya know what?? Ya can't win 'em all!! Sometimes ya have to fight to realize 'just that' so that you can move on. Some of us are lucky enough to be winners and others of us are destined to fight the fact that we are losers....and ya know what? Maybe that ain't so bad. Ya can always find other losers and form a group that sticks their tongues out at the winners!

And sometimes we have to fight to grow old with dignity...not to 'give up the fight' but to stay alive and breathe in the beauty that is there when we open our eyes and look outside. Use whatever tools are available to carry on life's fight...so that indeed you can wind up a winner!

ACCEPTING CHANGES AND LOSSES

2009-12-20T10:32:00.000-08:00

This 'doctor' hasn't held sessions for awhile as she was experiencing some changes in her own life. I just turned 69 and prior to that big date, which I celebrated with many of you readers, I was not celebrating too much. I hadn't been feeling too well. I have always been a very energetic person who was always able to be 'up and running' so to speak. Well...I ran out of steam.

It began with a simple cold, then a sinus infection, then some disappointments which led to a rather serious bout with depression, then a discovery that I could no longer do anything with my right arm since I have not only torn the rotator cuff, but all tendon and cartilege appears to have disappeared and I believe I have now pinched a nerve...I have simply been in PAIN. And pain really drains one of all energy. So a rather significant surgery is scheduled for January 6th. The recovery will take a few months I hear, but I've been assured that my fingers will still be able to punch these keys---so I hope to continue to blog through it all.

I tell you all this not to 'kvetch' (complain in Yiddush), but to relate how I'm 'getting through' in hopes that it helps any of you who have begun to notice and to deal with things that simply take away that wonderful sense of 'well being'.

First off, a friend of mine who is a 'potter' began telling me what great therapy that is, especially when one lives alone, as she and I both do. The next day I installed an easel, paints, canvases, etc. into my apartment. I had always thought about painting, and it turns out that it was the perfect thing to do. It really is a peaceful activity. Sort of like golf. For a few hours all you do is concentrate on the picture developing in front of you (or in the case of golf--the ball). Everything else going on that may be troubling disappears. And when something appears on the canvas that pleases you to look at---you feel terrific! I cannot stress enough how much these activities can help the stressed mind (and body).

Secondly, as we age we find out more and more, actually about everything, but certainly about ourselves. We become more sensitive to the things that can almost incapacitate us. Of course we do everything known medically to help ourselves. Sometimes it's medication, but always it is taking care of our bodies. Making sure that we spend part of our day wherever we are, walking. I have my darling little doggies, so that's a given. And as I've written before, on the walk really 'stop to smell the roses'. Also, do some work on your body either in your homes or in a gym...no matter how lame it is...do something. Even in a wheel chair there is so much to do with one's body. And really look at your nutrition. That salt and sugar really do a number on me. I feel bloating and fatigue right away. When carbs are removed and protein is emphasized my energy level really soars. Can't beat those salads with some chicken, salmon, or whatever. And...I have a Mimi Scott energy boost. At three o'clock when I feel my energy waning, I take two Hoodia, and one acai berry capsule with Acai berry juice. For me it works absolutely amazingly.

Thirdly, spend some time in meditation or in a spiritual connection. Do it in any space that makes you feel peaceful and quiet. And think a lot about the AA mantra "let go and let God'.
Just calling upon the universe for some help can really remove your burden...at least for a time.

Finally...get your 'house in order'. I've spoken of this before. I was absolutely overwhelmed when I returned from my recent trip to New York. It seemed like my closet, my desk, my accounting work were totally out of control. So arm or not, I went to work. To the point that I felt good enough and relaxed enough to go to a movie (Blind Side---was great and the kid playing the son who is probably no more than 10 years old, should absolutely be up for Best Supporting Actor), and to get back to my blog.

As always I hope I've been helpful. But the main point I wanted to make was to accept with creativity (and with some 'help' which I've decided to embrace since it provides you with the energy to flourish once again) all those lousy things that begin to bog us down. Maybe do some face painting on the wrinkles! Be well...talk to you next week.

Dr. Mimi Scott
www.mimi@drmimiscott.com

SHARPENING OUR ANTENNAE

2009-11-15T12:48:00.000-08:00

I applaud my readers who are working hard for all the multitudinous charities and causes out there since there probably has never been a time when people needed help more. And all of us give in various ways, monetarily and otherwise. However I have become passionate about doing something to change all that I see taking place right in the neighborhood, so to speak.

A devout listener of the news, it blows my mind about the crime that is continually reported. Recently three kids down here aged 13-15 set another kid on fire by pouring alcohol all over him and lighting a match to it. The victim is in the hospital having suffered burns over 85 percent of his body.

Then we have the head of a very well known law firm here in Ft. Lauderdale who appears to have scammed investors to the tune of a billion dollars. This news all peppered with stories of the Ft. Hood tragedy. Prior to all this every week there was a story of a father who killed his family and then himself. WHAT IS GOING ON?

Influenced as I am by all the Law and Order programs and shows like it that I watch, I realize the importance of being a keen observer of what is going on at all times. I tend to walk around lost in thought, oblivious to what's going on around me....always have. Others walk around texting and seeing nothing else around them. Well for me that is going to change. Especially when it comes to youngsters. Watch them. Notice if they are out of control. Notice if they are too quiet or too angry....they may be future assasins. Watch and listen to what the kids talk about...you may hear an immunity to criminal acts. I don't play them, but every year I purchased video games as holiday gifts with names like monster and war. No more.

Try and make sense of the guys and gals who are actually covered with tattoos and piercings. What are they trying to tell us? I suppose it's the same thing that the older gals are trying to tell us when they cannot get enough botox into their faces. Why are so many people desperately trying to find a way to feel better about themselves? In the same vein, don't ignore the young teenaged girls who send photos of themselves in a state of undress over the internet? Speaking of which...with so much texting and tweeting going on, emphasize to your kids how important it is to watch what they reveal on the internet...same goes for you!

We have to become aware of how those around us behave. There are many people around us who have lost jobs, money, homes, etc. Watch out for how they are acting. We have to watch out for symptoms of future criminal behavior. We even have to watch out for a psychiatrist like the officer in Ft. Hood who talks 'terrorism'. We have to observe fellow workers, neighbors, schoolmates, people in the military, friends, and yes, our own children. And if we see something criminally disturbing, start with the police, hopefully they will follow up on what you tell them. So many criminals are finally apprehended because of a vigilant bystander. We must be that too. In fact if you are concerned about anything you are seeing or hearing begin by just talking to a friend. Share----it is really important.

It's holiday time and we all try to make it joyous, although for many it is anything but. Nevertheless, it is a time when some of the worst crimes are committed. So watch and listen. Indeed sharpen your antennae. I'm not sure I can be of help, but I am here in case there is something you are seeing or heariing that is truly troubling.

Just something to think about as we go from day to day in troubled times. Hope you enjoyed the session.

Dr. Mimi Scott
917 846-2449

BEING 'DOWN'

2009-10-25T11:45:00.000-07:00

Scholars of 'Depression' present therapists with two points of view. There are those that say 'you must fight it'. Others say to allow it. I have always believed in the latter. I have assessed what patients have told me and let them know that I understand how they must feel and that I can understand the depression. I also have suggested taking time out and just sitting with their depression. Usually after a few days, the patient gets bored with his/her depression and goes out and becomes ready to be himself or herself once again. That is one reason the Jewish tradition of 'sitting shiva' is praised by the profession. It forces mourners to take 'time out' and focus on their grief. Otherwise, scholars say, going right back to work keeps the grief nagging at you and you never really get to deal with it.

At any rate, I was recently quite down. First thing I learned was to keep from diagnosing oneself before you receive a formal diagnosis. Having had cancer one can be 'paranoid'. So when I felt something once again I was sure the 'fat globule' that it turned out to be was cancer. I was also sure that the nodule on my thyroid that doctors had seen was another thing to worry about. It wasn't...there were cysts on the thryroid which are quite common. So there was no need to go though the 'down' time. In actuality, other factors played into it, but it was mostly health worries.

One thing I did was to not force myself to go out with people and have to smile and chatter. I simply was not up to doing it and wound up even 'breaking dates'. Surprisingly everyone understood.

Second thing I did was to keep busy in a solo fashion. I got the paints and the canvases etc., and began to paint. It has to be the most relaxing thing I've ever done! Some may think my work equals that of a fourth grader, but I haven't been disappointed because I'm enjoying it so much.

I have another friend who promised himself when he retired he would play the flute---he's absolutely loving it...so who knows? Maybe that's next. And as you all know I love to write.
My memoir is over 425 pages already and I'm far from complete. I also started to rehearse the one woman show I've been doing, and that always makes me feel good. And you can't go wrong with reading. To complete a book of true value helps tremendously, but even a mindless suspense novel can comfort. Of course having to walk a pet will always at least 'get you out' (as it did me with my four little pals) and perhaps even enjoy nature.

So after some tests were taken and I got the results I truly felt like I had gotten a new lease on life! Now I'm 'manic' again and happy too!

Just thought I'd share with you what worked so that the next time you're 'down' you can be better informed as to what to do.

Hope you enjoyed the session...

Dr. Mimi Scott
917 846-2449

WHERE ARE THE WATCHFUL EYES??

2009-10-18T11:53:00.000-07:00

I'll get right to it. This week I watched clips on TV of a 15 year old boy down here who was burned almost to death by five other boys aged 13-15. They poured alcohol on him and then lit him up. The 911 call that somebody made with the boy in the background screaming, when aired was almost too much to listen to.

A friend told me of her grandson's suicide attempt with pills that he had acquired at college so that he could sleep. The 'parties' at the universities aren't just at fraternities---they take place all night every night. I mean the drinking, the smoking of pot and who knows what else, is always there to accompany the loud voices and music. There is little respect for those who just might want to study, or God forbid, go to sleep. It's not uncommon to see the vomit, a result of the drinking, found all around the dorm. On my oldest granddaughter's first night at college a girl was brought out on a stretcher---a victim of date rape. Of course there are always the traditions of running nude here and there around statues or fountains. And if for some strange reason someone doesn't want to participate, they may as well get used to being an outcast with no social life, and down the line, take pills for the depression that the pain of that situation has brought on. To say it's a real dilemma is an understatement.

And of course, we had the balloon drama in Colorado where millions were spent trying to rescue the boy whom they thought was in the balloon over Denver, only to later realize it was a hoax!
I'll bet those parents will somehow be made accountable. But they are not the only ones we should hold accountable.

On my agenda this year is to write a play about domestic violence, or violence in general. As a result I did a lot of interviews this past summer in upstate NY on people I knew who had been caught up in this world as well as the guards at the local jails. There was one theme throughout every single crime and I'm sure you have guessed it...DRUGS. And drugs can be responsible for Wall street crimes as well as those in impoverished neighborhoods. Is anyone keeping an eye on anything???

Where were the parents of these young psychopaths? The victim's family had no health care so there are all sorts of fundraisers being held for this boy's care. How can you not want to donate? However, why aren't the parents of these young murderes responsible for these bills. It's probably impossible, but making parents financially accountable is perhaps one way to reduce these crimes.

Where are the famous RA's in the dorms? Where are parents, teachers, family members at every level who are keeping a watchful eye on those in trouble. It's my business as a therapist to examine what's going on with people. However it must become everyone's 'business' to develop a 'watchfulness' over your siblings, your co-workers, your fellow students, your neighbors, the executives in your life, and yes your own parents.

There are no more boundaries Is it a surprise that every area of our life and our government is 'out of control'? Can we not think about how to get things under control and begin with out own little family? Keep closer contact and know when you see signs that one of the kids, or your brother/sister, or your father or mother is not acting as he or she normally does. Be in close contact with the school (even the college) officials who are relating to your kids every day. Know who their friends are, and know whatever you can about the families of these friends.

People 'clam up' when they are hiding or ashamed about something. If any of your loved ones appears this way, try and get to the bottom of it whatever way you can. Always do whatever you can to KEEP THE LINES OF COMMUNICATION OPEN! Before you decide upon an estrangement (which takes a major toll no matter what---usually on your physical self), exhaust every way you can think to 'reach' this person who means so much. Somehow conveying 'love' usually is the key to unlocking emotions. At any rate before you completely separate yourself, try to leave a door open and at least a sense of amicability.

Oh, and by the way, it's not always easy to express feelings by texting or email. Try that obsolete method of phone calling (best for reception when not on a cell), or better yet, schedule a time to sit face to face with someone...not just 'on the run', but a real eye to eye. Let's try and find those 'watchful eyes' and I don't just mean on a Bernie Madoff, but on our own family members. I'll bet the Madoff boys wish they had done so.

Hope you not only enjoyed this session, but were perhaps a little 'fired up' by it.

Dr. Mimi Scott
917 846-2449

I'M STILL HERE!!

2009-10-11T09:30:00.000-07:00

My title today refers to two things: your response to my poll and my health as a breast cancer survivor.

I was overwhelmed by your beautiful emails to me. I am so very pleased that so many are taking the time to read this blog and that so many of you feel it is enlightening and has enhanced your lives. So you have my very deep appreciation and as a result I am pleased to say "yes, I am indeed still here!"

This being breast cancer month I also felt I should address the fact that I am very much still here three years later. Breast cancer did change me, but it did not kill me, and this is why I believe it did not. This is for all of you gals out there whether you've gone through it or not.

When I got my pre-diagnosis in August of 2006 after I went for a mammogram on Broadway and 57th street in New York City, I remember using the prase "it doesn't faze me' to my kids when I called to tell them. In fact I had walked home enjoying the beautiful New York day, gotten my puppies, and trotted them off to Niko's, my steady lunch spot on Broadway and 76th
street.

What had happened during the mammogram was the following:

First off I could see the picture being viewed from where I was standing at the machine and I immediately saw an area lit up. Next the technicians left the room and when they returned they asked me to step into another examining room. First one of the technicians came back and did an ultra sound, then after she disappeared for a minute, a doctor came in and said how surpised he was at how much the spot he had seen in March had grown. (Had we decided to, we could have made a case of this in itself). I then told him that I supposed he was about to do a biopsy which indeed he said he was.

Now here's the really kooky part.
I was a devote of Guiding Light and had just gone through the whole breast cancer thing with 'Reva' who had of course pulled through after being close to death. I therefore had the biopsy doctor laughing as I told him exactly what I figured would happen to me. When he asked how in the world I knew so much, I told him about Reva's course of treatment on Guiding Light. The actual biopsy taken was painless. He simply shot into my breast like a quick stab and that was that. I then got dressed and left. They said I'd have the results as soon as they came back from the lab.

That week I had dinner with my friend Paula who had had a bout that had turned out to be nothing, but who liked the doctor from NYU Med very much. She gave me her name. I figured I would most likely need a breast cancer doctor sometime soon, so the next day I called to get an appointment there and they said that the doctor could do nothing unless she had the pathology in her hands. Up to this point I only looked at the whole thing as though I had something inside my breast that simply had to be removed and that would be the end of the story. I never never looked at it as though that something would cause my death.

Well I won't bother you with the details of how much it took to discover the lab at which my pathology was, and how only making friends on the phone with a secretary was my means of going over to this lab at Beth Israel hospital and picking it up and hand delivering it to NYU
Med.

Long story short, this first doctor messed up big time...I got a staph infection from the operating room where I had a lumpectomy and she left what they call the 'margins' unclean. Between the doctor and the infection I knew that the only place to go for treatment was Memorial Sloan Kettering. I truly had avoided this hospital as it was where my late husband Barry was treated. But if one has a cancer diagnosis it is the very best place in this country to go as far as I am concerned.

I had a second operation there in November and during the course of my stay they sent me for tests and scans if I had as much as a hang nail, and I had a lot to be looked at---lungs, spine and more. And every department that looks at you reports on the computer immediately so that every doctor involved with your treatment is aware and sees immediatly what's happening with you. Your Medical Oncologist is the 'captain' of your case and there is no need for you to have to do anything. You are truly 'in their hands'. I had several women going through it at the same time I was and we made friends. Some of them were on the same radiation schedule as I...a true sisterhood was formed there.

My point in telling you all this is that taken one step at a time, even with ridiculous complications, it is not a big deal. Yes the residual about it all is that you are left with less strength and energy than you were before the cancer...it took me over two years to get it back. Indeed I had help (especially since I had four dogs to care for) all throughout the process provided by my long term care insurance. But as I said early on: "I'm still here!" At no time did I ever allow myself to think this was a death sentence. I looked at it as though I had this 'to do' at this time and then I'd move on to the next thing I had 'to do'. I was always 'positive'.

If you or an acquaintance get this kind of diagnosis...just say "Oh Shit" now I have to deal with this, so I'll just have to put off my writing or teaching or whatever till sometime later. But know that 'you will get back to it' and crazy as it seems, find a way to enjoy the process. The gab fests we had waiting for the radiation were terrific. So you see there is something fun to be found in everything. The only loss I really had is that Guiding Light went off the air a few weeks ago.

May the Good Lord bless everyone going through this disease and hope that He will guide them through it in the same way as He did me.

Hope you enjoyed the session.

Dr. Mimi Scott
917 846-2449

A POLLING

2009-10-04T14:10:00.000-07:00

TRYING TO GET A BETTER UNDERSTANDING OF WHO IS GETTING AND READING MY BLOG AND WHAT YOU WOULD LIKE ME TO COVER...

PLEASE RESPOND TO ME BY EMAIL----Mscott13@aol.com WITH THE FOLLOWING ANSWERS TO THE QUESTIONS BELOW:

1--YOUR EMAIL ADDRESS
2---DO YOU RECEIVE MY BLOG THROUGH YOUR EMAIL OR SOME OTHER WAY?
3---IS IT AN ANNOYANCE?
4---DO YOU READ IT?
5---HAS IT BEEN ENLIGHTENING FOR YOU?
6---WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE TAKEN OFF MY LIST?
7---ONE SUBJECT OR MORE YOU WOULD LIKE ME TO ADDRESS

Really appreciate your taking the time to do this...whatever you answer will not affect my relationship with you---so just be honest. Thanks...Dr. Mimi Scott 917-846-2449

THE DOCTOR'S ORDERS..

2009-09-25T18:18:00.000-07:00

This past week was a week from hell! The cold I developed the week before this one morphed into a sinus infection that produced a headache such as I had never experienced. What made the week a horror for me however was all that I had to deal with while in this state.

I'm in the midst of trying to solidify a loan modification on my lakehouse which if made permanent will allow me to keep it. They periodically have no information for me on the status of this loan, or they need, on an immediate basis, my whole financial life's records. That was what came up this week.

I had to meet an October 15th tax extension for 2008 with a brand new accountant here in Florida and get every bit of paperwork to his office within a day of getting the appointment.

I am still desperately seeking to re-obtain my domain name of 'drmimiscott' for my website that you may recall was stolen. It is impossible to describe the difficulty in attempting to get a voice on the phone to help with this. When I finally did, they too, asked for all sorts of financial records for review for their legal department. Each day of the week I was faxing 12-20 pages of information someplace.

Nevertheless, with a continually throbbing head, I was able to take every assignment to it's current conclusion----why??? Because my homes have always been 'in order' when it comes to record keeping. Since I was a kid, my desk had to be in order for me to proceed with any kind of paper work. Running theatres well before computers, I kept manilla folders on everything and always made a copy of everything I put into effect. My life has always been dominated by lists.

Ironically I find that unless a room is 'in order' I cannot begin any other kind of work. I know many brilliant and accomplished people who work amidst a cluttered atmosphere, but it is my theory that for most people in order to achieve, to any significant extent, the clutter must be removed from one's atmosphere and thus from one's head in order to accomplish.

When I was younger my schoolwork had a plan, and later my theatre experience and my practice were highly organized...but the headaches brought about this week were, before his death, the responsibility of my late husband Barry Scott. On my own since his death, and while my son is without question my mentor and advisor, it is still up to me to 'keep my records in order'. Therefore this week, at a moment's notice, I was able to place my hands on social security, pension, medicare, AARP Rx information, as well as on all checking account statistics, investment records and on and on and on, in order to fax out the relevant papers immediately.

My point...if I was any less 'in order' I would have been totally unable to deal with any of this, especially while sick and still caring for (also on an extremely well planned schedule) my four pups.

So this week I am ' prescribing' for each and every one of you reading this---the development of an orderly life. It not only helps out on a momentary basis, but it also provides a lifetime of satisfaction and accomplishment. And.... it is never too late to redirect these efforts.

Hope my spouting about what has worked for me personally, is not offensive, but truly something that many of you will be open to considering.

Once again I hope you enjoyed this session.

Dr. Mimi Scott
917 846-2449

WHAT ARE WE SUPPOSED TO DO?

2009-09-20T07:55:00.000-07:00

As promissed two week ago, my review of my new show FROM BROADWAY TO HOLLYWOOD
My Life in Song, should be rated A+....not by any legitimate source but by my own soul. Performed last Thursday, right before the start of Rosh Hashannah, at the most well known Jewish Community Center in South Florida, the faces on this senior audience as they sang along almost every number with me, gave me a wonderful sense of "right time, right place, right thing to be doing"...therefore the A+.

I watched Oprah this week doing her 'retro' of Michael Jackson, and I was really touched by a question she asked him. It went something like: When did you figure out what you were 'supposed to do, because most of us are still struggling with that? It made me wonder how many of us do take the time to ask ourselves 'what are we supposed to do?'. Or in other words:
'What is our mission in this life...what are we here to do/give/accomplish? I stood there last Thursday knowing that this is 'what I am supposed to do'. If one has the capacity to make any person or group of persons, especially those with losses (such as seniors who are not 'movin like they used to') simply feel happier, even if it is for a moment, then one is 'doing what he or she is supposed to be doing'!

I remember learning once at a Torah study that even the homeless man or woman in the doorway is doing what he or she is 'supposed to be doing' because they are here to remind us how fortunate we are, and in turn they sit there to stir up inside us a certain generosity.

I have a new friend who helped me prepare and execute my little show, who is very clear about what he is here to do in this life. A trained scientist/engineer he was on the team that designed the ultra sound, the MRI and the PET scan. He continues to figure out new ways to save people through technology. He's obviously doing 'what he's supposed to do' and it's not being my sound/prop man. Yet by helping me he was still giving to people in need. A special thank you on all levels from all of us to Abe.

How many of you out there are really clear on what you're here to do? If you're on my reading list you have my respect for whatever it is you do, because allowing special people into our framework of friends is also something 'we are supposed to do'. As I've written earlier when someone in our life's framework is toxic to our energy and in turn keeps us from that which we are 'supposed to do'--it is time to clean house and get rid of the poisons in it. Sometimes simply taking them out of our house is a good solution and may allow us to relate to them but at a healthier distance.

At this time of the Fall when school begins again and the Jewish High Holy Days call for a reflection of ourselves, it may be the right time for all of us, no matter what denomination, to 'take stock' and think about what we are 'supposed to do' with the wonderful mind, body, skills, talents and soul that brought us here.

Love to you all and hoping you enjoyed this session.

Dr. Mimi Scott
917 846-2449

BEING VIOLATED!

2009-09-06T12:42:00.000-07:00

I'm hoping that none of you readers have ever been raped...nor have I physically, but something that happened to me this week certainly felt that way.

Last Sunday night someone happened to ask me for my website address (www.drmimiscott.com). I gave it to him and he immediately punched it in and told me it wasn't there. I thought he was completely mistaken and went to my computer to find he was right! All it said was inmerge.my (a default site). I was of course beside myself, but told myself I would call the outfit---Pumkinfish--in the morning and get it resolved. I did so first thing in the morning and found that the number for the contact person, Chris Wilson, was disconnected. I then emailed him and the email was immediately returned. Next I went to the Pumkinfish website and found that they had the same message and 'default site' as was on my website. Later I found that they had left the office in the building in which it was housed in Ft. Lauderdale. Still later I found that a home address inhabited by some sister in law, claimed those involved had been gone since May to nowhere she knew. Obviously---somebody(s) had to 'get outta town fast"!!

My week of course was spent with people who knew about websites trying to help me recover what I could. You have probably figured out by now, that this Ph.D had not had the smarts to make sure she had a copy when she spent a small fortune having this website designed and maintained, and I must say (and all of you who had viewed it certainly said) it was a fabulous website. But it was more than that---it was truly my history and could be seen as a legacy. Indeed one of my granddaughters who just started BU, as mentioned last week, gathered some new friends in her room and wanted to show them the site...how upset she was that it wasn't there! I cannot express how terrible I felt when she called in amazement.

To me it was as though I had been violated. As though someone had broken into my home and stolen my most precious possession.!! By week's end we have hopes to recover the domain name, but the vendor claims that these people, Pumkinfish, defaulted in June and two weeks later all their files were deleted! However I viewed it in early August, as did someone who found employment for me as a result, and I cannot understand how a file deleted in June was still there in August! Any help with this would be appreciated.

My point in blogging about all this is two fold. If you put your heart and soul into any project anywhere make absolutely certain you have copied and backed up every part of it. Also be very very careful about whom you choose to deal with. And if you are buying a long term service (such as insurance) continually check to see that they are alive and well. These fellows seemed like lovely young men and they had been recommended to me very highly. I have been advised to go after them, but before I pay for a PI to find them and try to sue, I have to evaluate if it is worth spending the money in order to retrieve nothing. All I really want is my beautiful website.

Of course I'll be working on this recovery for a while, and I am beginning to look at the materials I have in order to rebuild another site. But for now all I am actually doing is trying to move on from this disaster and prepare myself for something much greater.

Next week I have my first booking at a major JCC here in South Florida of FROM BROADWAY TO HOLLYWOOD...My life in Song. This is an act I have prepared with the intention of bringing joy to older people (of which we have a surplus here), but which is turning into something that may bring pleasure to all ages while bringing some financial gain to me. I won't be writing again until after this first gig, as next week I'll be up north for the memorial of my son in law's father. So 'hang in there' and I'll give you my review in two weeks. Meantime enjoy the summer's end and the newness of the Fall.

Thanks for reading.

Dr. Mimi Scott
8917 846-2449

SAY IT NOW!!

2009-08-30T13:17:00.000-07:00

The past few days have been quite sobering for me. Watching the funeral proceedings of Ted Kennedy as well as reviewing an obituary being written on my daugter's father in law, Zoltan, known as 'Zip', Zantay.

Senator Kennnedy was obviously so much more than the younger brother who drank, played and suffered the consequence at Chappaquidic. He was that kind of rarity who was truly able to turn his life around and who, in the end, did more for his country's well being than anyone else in his family, or in our country's history it appears. Public figures such as Ted Kennedy are often celebrated along the way as they reach milestones such as a 75th birthday. But how many of us remember to celebrate one another as we travel along life's path. When we prepare obituaries and plan memorials we often realize the impact that the person being immortalized had on us. Such is the case of my daughter's father in law.

Zip Zantay was not just the father of Doug Zantay, my daughter's husband, but a real force in the life of my whole family. Zip and his late wife Ethel ran Camp Deerwood in the Berkshires where, upon a great deal of research, I decided to send my son, Jeffrey at age 10. The following year my daughter Karen, who had been reluctant to go at age 12, decided, at age 13 that she would go as well. By 14 she had lost her heart to the Camp and to the Zantay family, especially Douglas.

It was easy to be charmed by the Zantays. Zip, a tall handsome fellow, was a musician who had played in many Broadway show pits and with several major bands of the era (indeed he met Ethel, a cigarette girl at the Copa Cabanna, while playing there). Zip also taught music throughout the boroughs of New York and Long Island. Indeed, Zip started Camp Deerwood so that his students would not put down their instruments in the summer. On the day of his death he actually enjoyed his daily playing of the clarinet. He was superb at the clarinet, the sax and the flute. His son Douglas is as well, and my granddaughter, Jazz Zantay, received a scholarship to Boston University (where she was delivered, along with her twin sister Koti, today), as a result of her outstanding ability on the flute, a talent that truly was inherited from her grandfather Zip.

I am at peace because in his last days I made a point of calling Zip and letting him know what an influence he had been on our family. He and Ethel had a home on the Lake---we bought a home on a lake. They had boats--we bought a boat. They had horses---we bought and rode horses...and so it went. And now, I do believe, that a grandchild of mine will become well known in the music world because of her grandpa Zip Zantay.

And why do I tell you all this? Because upon death we take time to focus on the achievements of the departed and the impact they had on us. But do we take time to sit back and realize that as we see one another travel through life? And if we do realize all this, do we take time to express it to each other....well before one is taking his or her last breath? If not, then try to rectify that.

Turn to your mates, your kids, your parents, and your friends and tell them how impressed you are with them in terms of what they are doing for themselves and how they are impacting you.
Look beyond all the gripes with mundane issues and "say it now'. We never know when it will be the last conversation with someone. We all know the benefits our kids receive from praise, well so do the 'grown ups'. Let's not wait 'til death do us part' to let those in our lives know what a treasure for us they have been. Do this repeatedly and we'll all live a lot longer, for one feels as joyous giving the praise as does the person receiving it.

Hope you enjoyed today's session.

Dr. Mimi Scott
917 846-2449

MINDFULNESS

2009-08-23T09:47:00.000-07:00

When it first opened I somehow found my way to the famous Miraval Spa outside
Tucson, Arizona. What I remember most about my wonderful week there, was the theme of 'mindfulness' that was talked about, lectured about, and discussed throughout my stay. Still I came back to New York and on to Florida, and while perhaps somewhat more sensitive to the world around me, I continued to miss the meaning of so many things that I saw and heard. Only with my patients was I truly listening, hearing and searching for meaning on many levels. As to myself, I was often not paying close attention and therefore not being as 'mindful'. This week it took a real 'jolt' to remind me of what it means to be 'mindful'.

Without going in to my reasons I was about to break a rule upon which I expounded when I first started writing this blog...seeing someone whom I had repeatedly found was not healthy for me in terms of a relationship. He had wanted me to see his new apartment and to have dinner with him this past Friday.

The omens began on Thursday. Somehow in thinking about my mother I heard a voice say "watch out!". Now that you're convinced I am totally whacko, let me explain about this level of 'mindfulness'. I believe everyone can become psychic if they take 'mindfulness' to its extreme. If one really looks to the heavens and concentrates on someone who has gone, or on something about which they wish for a resolution, my experience is that messages do indeed come. And if one pays full attention to these messages, they will be guided. The irony is that the answers I have always received are usually answers that are 'right in front of my nose' had I actually been looking. If they were missed it is because I wasn't being 'mindful' or 'paying attention' to that which I was seeing and hearing.

To continue regarding the omens (or messages) I was receiving, yet unwilling to truly 'see', I bumped into a woman Friday morning who does work as a psychic (in fact she has worked here with the police department in solving some murder cases). Once before she had done a tarot card reading for me and I was amazed as to how 'right on' she had been. So feeling the way I was regarding this situation, I asked her to read the cards for me, and sure enough the advice was the same I had chosen months ago---divorce yourself!

Later on that day for some odd reason I could not type on this computer. All the letters were coming out as a mixture of numbers and letters. I was truly 'freaked out'.

Finally, all my building staff whom I informed as to what I was about to do, pleaded with me not to do this, and one store owner /friend with whom I spend a lot of time (and money) said he would 'divorce' me if I saw this person! Still I called for my car at 5:30pm and was going to see him. I was one block south of the park on which my building stands, and about the 4th car in line for a red light. I had just stopped when all of a sudden BANG!!! I was thrust forward as something had crashed into the back of my car! I put my car in 'park' and got out. There lying on the ground was a young man of about 25 bleeding on top of his motor cycle. When he saw me he kept repeating how sorry he was and that it was his fault not mine.

The police were on the scene immediately as they had seen the whole thing. They moved us and our vehicles both into a lot and asked me if I was all right. My head was indeed spinning, but I felt it was due not only to the impact, but the stress of the whole ordeal. I was truly shaken, moreso than I had ever been in any kind of accident. The poor fellow however, had blood coming out of his nostrils, gashes on his face, and the bridge of his nose was totally blue. My car did not look like some I've seen where the back end is totally smashed, but I'm sure the damage will be a couple thousand dollars to fix at least (of course I'm insured). The fellow was not wearing a helmet; was not driving his own cycle, and of course had no insurance!

Late that night a computer expert/security guard informed me about the 'number lock' key which when inadvertently hit will totally screw up your computer's key board!

The moral for me and for everyone reading this is of course is to TRUST/LISTEN TO YOUR INSTINCTS, VOICES, whatever. Be MINDFUL at all times. Don't be stubborn...and realize that there are many souls trying to protect you if you just have faith and concentrate. Otherwise they might have to literally 'hit you over the head' to convince you. I simply told my 'ex' that it just wasn't 'in the cards' for us!

Hope you enjoyed this session...and til next week WATCH OUT!

Dr. Mimi Scott
917 846-2449

HEALING YOUR PAIN

2009-08-09T10:21:00.000-07:00

Today it's in my back! Yours may be in your stomach, your head, your chest, who knows? I used to think it was only the 'old' people whose conversations revolved around how they were feeling. Now I find it's as prevalent among younger people as well. For the elderly I believe whatever the pain is, it is a culmination of the stresses suffered throughout their lives. However stresses appear to be strong enough today that younger and younger people are suffering from them. Even elementary school kids are developing symptoms from stress. If you recently saw the program on TV about the kids with OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder) you know how scary it all is.

Whatever the pain your suffering is---unless you had an accident of some sort---it probably originated with something stressful that occured in your life. Here is my prescription: If it goes on for awhile do check it out with the doctor and go through the scans, MRI's whatever, in order to make sure it is not something serious. If all that is complete and the results are ok, here is what I think may help.

First take a 'time out'. That is not just something for little kids to do in order to get themselves calmer and more centered. It is a helpful thing for all of us to do. 'Time out' can take place right at your desk, or in a chair, or on the floor, or even while sitting on a subway, bus or train. If you're out of city traffic and on the road for awhile, driving can be wonderful for reflection (see earlier blogs).

'Time out' can start with a neck roll all around for about four times each way. (It is amazing how many patients I have found with neck pain from tension). Then begin a concentration on breathing with your eyes closed (this I do not recommend while driving). Just stay with that for a minute or two. Just feeling yourself breath---in and out, in and out...Now imagine yourself where you feel absolutely wonderful. It may be on a beach sunning or listening to a fabulous concert. But keep it peaceful and stay with it for awhile. Let yourself just go with the flow. Now imagine your pain just drifting right out of your body and going upward for the universe to dispose of. In this lovely mood now ask whatever spirit you believe in to please hear you and enlighten you as to what you may do in order to make things less stressful for you, your family, or whomever you know whose pain is causing your own stress. It is amazing what light bulbs go off in your head! The answer I have found, is always something that was right in front of you.

In the same quiet mood, now see yourself on an elevator going down from the top floor to the first. As each floor is hit, see yourself as stronger and better. By the time you reach the bottom you will feel pain free, stress free, happier, and ready to embrace the world. When you get used to doing this a few times a day, it can become a five minute vacation from everything around you. Try it and let me know if you are feeling better. You can comment right at the bottom here, or email me at mscott13@aol.com. Gee my back pain is gone! Hope this session is as helpful for you as it just was for me.

Dr. Mimi Scott
917 846-2449

SENIOR ONLINE DATING

2009-08-02T16:46:00.000-07:00

I found that after I ended my relationship last Spring, it was as though someone called the internet and told them I was single. Every online dating service appeared on my emails---JDate, Match.com, Cupid.com and on and on it went. I wasn't however in any way ready to start 'dating' again, especially since I was staying at our lake home in upstate New York for only two months, so I didn't think it made sense to start while I was there. But then I saw SeniorPeopleMeet.com, and I thought well maybe that would make sense.

So I uploaded a picture my friend Paula had taken of me while I spent three days in New York City before traveling the last leg of my trip to upstate New York. Not quite a professional headshot, but a really good shot nevertheless. Well I guess the viewers thought so as well as I began getting a lot of 'hits'. Indeed one fella wanted to fly up just so he could ride back to Florida with me as I was driving back alone. His picture was great and he did seem like a nice guy, but too much too soon would not be the best way to begin going back on the dating scene. He told me however that as soon as I would return, he would drive the 1 and 1/2 hour trip from Naples, on the west coast to see me. There was even an email waiting for me when I arrived back here wanting to know where I was. I emailed him and called him to let him know I was indeed back...did you hear from him???? I never did.

All this brought back to mind earlier dating when guys tell you constantly that 'they'll call you' and maybe after your funeral they may send condolences.
Nevertheless, I continued to check out fellas both in this senior network and on a site called PlentyofFish.com (which is free) from 55-65 and within 25 miles from me here in Hollywood, Florida. So of course I got several 39 year olds and 42 year olds as well as legitimate seniors who were living in Wisconsin, Illinois, Maine, etc. So much for trying to set your own limits.

At any rate, back in sunny Florida where the youth are tanned and beautiful and the seniors who haven't destroyed themselves with cosmetic surgery, look pretty damned good too, I decided to really try and find a nice fella who will maybe make it into relationship status. The only thing about this is, I'm here to see clients, get a musical I wrote up in the condos, do a character role on an upcoming internet/ TV show, run a couple groups and religiously write this blog! No way can I spend the day on the computer answering all the 'hits'. To date online means to make whatever work you do secondary. Yet it can be fun, and also very funny.

First the picture is all important. If one doesn't choose to have one up---fuhgetaboutit! And usually when they do it's a deal breaker. The thing I find most amazing is why a senior guy (or gal I suppose) would post a picture at age 64 which you know was taken at age 44. I mean--what are they thinking? The combovers by the way are a definite 'no no'. One guy whose picture I recently looked at had a really good looking face, however he chose to sit with his arms wrapped around the back of a chair and there were no clothes on to hide the flab that was hanging out all over. I mean c'mon...

Nevertheless I've had two outings. One with a lovely guy with whom I had absolutely no chemistry, but who told me the best jokes I've heard in quite some time--and he told them very well. The next one I will be seeing again. In fact we had such a comfortable time---he was a New York guy who had been into theatre and who ran groups. Ya think maybe we have something in common?? At any rate the lettuce from the salad I was eating got caught in my upper back teeth. Now normally I would try to survive without having to remove it, but on this occasion I couldn't take another bite of the delicious salad since I had no room for anymore in my mouth! So I just told him what was going on and got it out! The best part however, was describing to each other what we do for our daily workouts. I told him I did the stairmaster, the treadmill and the bike and then I lifted weights. He said he did the same machines and then we started to show each other across the table with our arms going in all directions, which weight pulls we use. When I stopped laughing I knew that this is what I was going to blog about this week.

Who knows? And ya know what---we're seniors--so why would we wait to cuddle...I mean either of us may be gone by the next date...so let's live it up while he can and while I have the strenth!

I hope you enjoyed this session as much as I did detailing it. Tune in next week for some sane topic of discussion.

Dr. Mimi Scott
954 926-0133
917 846-2449
visit me at: www.drmimiscott.com

TRANSITIONING

2009-07-26T16:45:00.000-07:00

As we head toward the Fall and all that that season brings, most people find themselves in some kind of transition. It is not just the kids returning to school. or the college students beginning or continuing their program of study, but all of us renewing ourselves in some way when Fall arrives and brings, especially for Jewish people who celebrate the New Year, a sense of beginnings. I've been out of school for some time now, but my calendar is still spoken of in terms of semesters.

Whether you're letting go of an old apartment for a new one, or an old job for a new one, or an old teacher for a new one, or a relationship for something or someone else, or an old nest of family for a new venture---you're in transition. And while there can be a good deal of pain involved, it truly helps to see whatever it is you're transitioning to as a new opportunity.

I had a great deal of time to think about all this as I 'transitioned' from a lake home which I've had since 1982 in upstate New York, to my home of almost two years in Hollywood, Florida. My lake home was filled with children, grandchildren and all their friends who are now 'college kids'---while my Florida home is filled with me and my beloved 4 puppies. I had a lot of time to reflect on all this as I drove, leaving Saturday mornng from the lake, staying overnight in North Carolina, and arriving Sunday night at 9:30pm in Florida. While I'm at it, let me offer what I can about driving that length alone with 4 dogs in a small Toyota Scion.

First I was blessed with two beautiful days...until 50 miles above my destination when I ran into a huge downpour. Other than that it was smooth. My daughter had made sure that I had a really easy to understand Garmin, and it was truly a time saver! It saved me hours from traffic around Washington DC. I strongly suggest getting one of these not only for long distance trips, but for finding the most effiecient way to get any place. I only had one lengthy phone conversation which I don't advise. It can be just too distracting, and everytime I turn my head while driving I'm sorry I did---so I focus straight ahead!

We stopped only for gas, at which point the pups were given water (which I kept
in the big cooler I brought) along with their treats. I then used the Ladies room and we took a five minute walk around each station. After that it was back into the car where my cooler also contained snacks, food and drinks for myself. I removed whatever I needed for the next stretch, and kept it on the dash board so that I could reach it easily. I had the CD's in the pocket of the Driver's seat so that all I had to do was reach down and take one from the front of the pile as I changed them continually. My advice to anyone--plan your music ahead for the trip. Each show I played brought back memories. I sang every word along with Ethel as I played GYPSY, and all the music (none of it today's) was thought provoking for me. Doing all this made the time fly.

The memories of course were mainly of my life with my late husband Barry and our wonderful two children. I had moved to New York City alone after Barry's early death in 1991, and spent 16 extraordinary years there, but what I will always consider the essence of my life was the family part of it. Now it is time for my children and their children to collect all the memories, because as I travelled I realized that it was, maybe not the very last one, but yet another major transition in my life. I was leaving an old home, and returning to my new home. In many ways I was sad, but in just as many ways I became excited about the new opportunities that lay ahead for me.

My point is that transitions are felt, not just by the young and the empty nesters (now there's a really tough transition), but by seniors of all ages as well. My thought is to treasure the good memories. Dwell on them when you can---it's good for the soul, and eliminate the bad from your focus. Truly look forward to what you can do to make this latest transition the happiest and the most productive.

Hope you enjoyed the session.

Dr. Mimi Scott
917 846-2449
954 926-0133
visit me at: www.drmimiscott.com

GETTING PAST DESPAIR

2009-07-12T18:15:00.000-07:00

Has anyone out there experienced sitting in a room, an apartment or a house filled with people, and feeling totally alone? When it feels forced to put on the smile that is usually associated with your face? When to socialize is actually painful for you who are normally an outgoing person? Well, don't think you are alone with this experience, because you are not. (Do I not sound like one of those commercials for anti-depressents?) I believe that most people experience this...we just don't know it.

How can someone who has just discovered a close relative is terminal want to go out and 'act' happy? How can someone whose spouse has lost a job want to go out and party? My first suggestion is don't even try. Some in the profession vehemently disagree. I believe that you have the right to take time out and to let yourself be depressed. I also, depending upon the severity, believe that a professional should be seen and that medication may indeed be in order. When someone in the house is 'depressed' it can be a real downer for everyone else. The instinct is to tell them all the good things about their lives in the hope that they will 'see the light' and stop being 'depressed'. That is not always the right route to take. If one ignores the depression that they are feeling and does not take the time to 'be depressed', it may pull at them until one day the depression is much more severe for having waited to deal with it.

As a student I was told that the Jewish tradition of 'sitting shiva' following a death is actually a very healthy thing to do. It forces the family to take time away from going back to work, or attending that meeting, or keeping the golf date. They are simply 'sitting' with the purpose being to think about the loss and to allow others to say whatever will comfort, or even put a smile on their face. Most people however believe that it is important to keep going no matter what is or is not happening or no matter how you are feeling. Some professionals will tell you to simply 'fight your way through it'. I disagree. What I think people want to hear is that they have a right to feel the way they do and that they deserve the permission to take time out, but time out with a deadline.

How you get past the despair may be determined by what you do with your 'time out'. Prayer works wonders. Crying cleanses. Physical activity keeps the body going, and enjoying music, writing, reading or just watching a good sitcom may all get you going again. Focusing on starting something you have always loved to do such as writing a new song, may get you going as well. Ultimatly, the best way to deal with your despair may simply be to talk about it. One wonderful friend whom you can trust is often the absolute best therapy. If you don't have that one person...start cultivating that kind of confidante. In the end it's what beats all other approaches to getting past despair.

Next week's blog may be delayed as I will be 'on the road again' returning to Florida. So hang in there,,,and don't hang yourself! I'm always here for you.

Dr. Mimi Scott
917 846-2449
visit me at: www.drmimiscott.com

2009-07-12T14:04:00.000-07:00

TIMES THEY ARE A CHANGIN...

2009-07-05T18:27:00.000-07:00

Hope everyone had a happy 4th of July. Where I am the 4th has always been an amazing experience. From the time we found a lake home here on Burden Lake in upstate New York when my kids were teenagers, there has always been a mob here on the 4th. This is mainly because we, as well as everyone around the lake, had great fireworks. As the kids got older the fireworks got more and more professional...one year a friend of my son who was a pyrotechnician took charge of the whole thing.
Now my kids are grown and their kids are either in college, entering college or will be in the next year or two. All my grandchildren and their friends and our neighbor's kids found their way here yesterday. Some have recently gotten engaged, others are falling in love, and others have little else on their minds then the boating, waterskiing, tubing, trampoline jumping, and computer games that were all taking place. The scene is a very different one now...including the fact that there are no more fireworks--too much trouble and money. I didn't see the little kids anymore, I saw young adults going out into the world. And I'm acutely aware of the choices they will have to make, especially at this moment in time.

In conjunction with my time spent here I have been trying to frame a new play with music about domestic violence. I have done several interviews in order to get a sense of cause, and this week I plan to visit the county jail. Actually a Guard there was here yesterday and we talked. One theme comes up througout every discussion of any kind...drugs, drugs, drugs, access to guns and more drugs. In addition I was amazed to find out how many inmates use the system to further their ability to get drugs. No home where their is a relationship to anyone dealing drugs can be without a gun for protection. And this scene is not limited to the 'inner city'. We're talking weed(marijuana),smack(heroine), crack(laced cocaine),ice(chrystal meth)and pills--of every sort. And always alcohol...no one does any of the above without alcohol use. It is not just welfare kids who are faced with this phenomenon...it is high school and college students, lawyers, doctors, entertainers----all of us. Everyone on medication at any age for anything also must make choices. "Do I drink and drive home?" "Can I have something with the medicine I'm already on?" With overuse of any of the above listed, and a gun nearby, peppered with anger from all our stress---BANG! Another tragedy.

This is what those beautiful young adults are being faced with. To 'use', to 'party', to 'drink' and on and on and on. Certainly more pervasively than when I went to school. It appears to be the most common way to socialize. The good news is that I was able to glean hope from these kids who are all completely aware of that which I've been outlining and who still give me a sense that they possess an inner strenth and value system that will hopefully see them through this all important life 'choice'. Lord knows they will have so many more 'choices' as our world gets more and more difficult to navigate. What one of my beauties had to say was that the main thing is 'to be who you are" I like to think she meant "to be strong enough to be who you are". If you have a value system that doesn't 'value' these things, and if you have certain goals set for yourself---you have to be able to say "no". After all, they told me, "no one is shoving it down your throat". In fact I learned that other kids who make the choice to do these things do not disrespect those who decline. They just kind of say "whatever...more for me". And one young 'inner city'
girl I interviewed last week who has two brothers in prison, told me "parties aren't everything--I saw what happened to my brothers and I'm concentrating on my step dancing, not goin to 'parties'!"

I have no definitive answer here today...just thoughts that I wanted to share because I believe our primary war should be fought on the terrorism of the drug culture that is killing us faster than any other kind of the terrorism.

Dr. Mimi Scott
518 674-8505
917 846-2449

REFLECTING ON 'ICONS' AND 'LEADERS'

2009-06-28T14:28:00.000-07:00

How could I address anything else this week? The last week here at my lakehouse outside Albany, New York, all that was on the local news was talk of the 'circus' taking place at the Capitol building here over who should be considered head of the Senate and therefore able to take over the governorship if needed. Then of course, there was the explosion about the loss of two of our icons---Farrah Fawcett and Michael Jackson...not to dismiss the all time best 'second banana' Ed McMahon.

Since the word was used so continually I looked up some definitions of 'icon'. One equated it with 'idol' and the one I liked best was 'an enduring symbol' I actually have my own definition of 'leader' which I shall address below. But 'icon' really intrigues me. For me Farrah Fawcett was the picture of sweetness and sexuality, no matter how excellent she was in " The Burning Bed" or "Extremities". The image of her as an 'angel' with her hair blowing around her will always be her legacy, just as Marilyn Monroe with the white dress blowing up around her will always be the image I keep of her. Both are icons or 'enduring symbols' for me of female beauty and sexuality.

In terms of Michael Jackson, whose work coined the 'pop icon' phrase I would suggest, we also have an 'enduring symbol' not unlike Elvis Presley. Indeed the mourning here of my granddaughter reminds me of how I was at the time of Elvis Presley's death. We both felt that the music that had reached us and had such an impact on our lives had now gone on to eternity. For it was the body of work that is for us 'the enduring symbol' of musical entertainment. It is the songs and in the case of the latter, the videos as well, that we can listen to over and over again and enjoy and emote for the rest of our lives. Interestingly, no matter what the personal side of each was like, the lyrics of their music spoke of love and goodness.

So in case you've been caught up in the coverage of Michael's weirdness, perversion, drug use and financial cunning, just put on 'Thriller' and no matter how old you are, realize that you can appreciate the greatness of the music, lyrics and dancing of this truly iconic entertainer who will be considered in years to come, an 'enduring symbol' of the music world, just as Leonardo DaVinci is in the art world..and I know absolutely nothing about his personal life. I only know how I felt when I stood looking at the 'Mona Lisa' in Paris.

Regarding our 'leaders' on all levels, what impressed me the most this past week was an article written by Rudy Guiliani in the NY Times. In it he gives specifics about what he can see being done to reconstitute our state government. There are no platitudes in the article, but very ordered instructions as to how we can and should proceed to straighten out what is going on at the New York State Capitol as I write this. He, to me is a 'leader'. He speaks/writes with clarity and specifics. It shows me strengths in the midst of weakness. I really do not care about his personal life. I care about the fact that he very decisively was able to restore us during and after 911...this is his major achievement. These are the qualities I realize I must look for in voting for any 'leader' from Sheriff to President. I no longer am interested in who cheated on their wives the most, but on what they have done in their fields of endeavor to qualify them to 'lead' in any capacity. What have their 'achievements' been? Just to listen to the coverage of the Senators this week really makes me wonder about educational qualifications as well as IQ's. our leaders in the New York State Senate here sound like idiots!! Children sqabbling. I am no longer going to vote right down one side or another, but I am going to try to become very much more aware of the 'achievements' of candidates at every level of government.

I am not dismissing the fact that personal actions and behavior speak of character which is still an important consideration. But before we 'sit in judgement', let us remember the biblical reminder "he who is without sin, let him cast the first stone".

Thanks for reading and letting me speak my peace. I will look forward to your emails with your own various points of view. Maybe it will be fodder for next week's blog when I hope to have an interesting annoucement for you all (no I'm not pregnant!). Have a good week.

Dr. Mimi Scott
518 674-8505
917 846-2449
visit me at: www.drmimiscott.com

Scary Diagnosis

2009-06-20T16:43:00.000-07:00

This past week I went to see an orthopedic doctor to look at my 'backside' as I had slid down wet stairs the Friday before. I never saw soooo much purple covering my body! A young doctor in the practice had xrays taken and found something that upset him on my hip---so he had more pictures taken. He came back into the exam room to tell me that he was pretty sure it was metastatic breast cancer that had manifested in my hip. He did think he should show the xrays to his partner however, who told him he thought whatever it was, was benign...so this young fellow decided just to set me up with some scans before doing anything else. The MRI proved totally benign and just 'because' I am going for a bone scan this Monday. I now have new respect for aging physicians.

I write about this because it brought back memories of my initial breast cancer diagnosis and I thought I would share the thoughts that 'got me through' at that time, for anyone in receipt of this who is going through something equally scary or who has a relative going through something.

First upon learning of a cancer diagnosis it is important to tell yourself and others that this is not a 'death' sentence and that there is no way you are going to die. Once that thought is in your head, you can proceed to all sorts of decisions. What physician do you want; where do you want to be throughout treatment, and above all what hospital do you want to be at. My family want me to write a review for Zagat of all New York City hospitals since during my sixteen years there I spent time in every single one of them! However, most were for simple procedures (ie: rotator cuffs in each arm at two different hospitals). Bad memories with my beloved husband initially kept me from going to Memorial Sloan Kettering, but after a bad experience at NYU Med, I realized that when it comes to cancer---you cannot do better than Memorial Sloan Kettering. Indeed as it took quite awhile for the MRI results to become official this past week, I was reminded how unbelieveably well Sloan Kettering works. As soon as you become affiliated with them you are given an ID card (just like a credit card). Once in the computer, this card is used for every single visit to the hospital you might make. There is no waiting whatsoever for results of anything. If you have a scan set up for 10:00AM, you have an appointment at 10:20AM with the doctor who ordered the scan as he or she already has your results via the computer. The entire hospital is like a small city and they are on top of everything about you every single second.

Even in the best medical hands however, you still have more decisions. Will your treatment require you to have help to take care of yourself, or can you pretty much go through it on your own. BE AS INDEPENDENT AS YOU CAN BE FOR AS LONG AS YOU CAN BE is the best advice I have for anyone. Somehow it keeps you from becoming dependent (I know---I actually lost 'myself' a bit as I had help from wonderful people, but for far too long). Equally important is to make the decision to stay in touch with those who care. Just their calls to you can make a big difference in your recovery. I am sure that my classmates from Albany High School who made calls to me definitely kept a smile on my face and sped up my recovery.

Most important however is to focus throughout on something you love. Sometimes a job keeps you so busy you don't have time to fret, however, often you do. I happen to love everything theatrical. In the past years this love has manifested in writing theatre rather than producing, directing or acting in it as I have done throughout my life. If any energy exists during treatment---use it. Garden, write, listen to music, do the reading you've not 'had time for', create things, or just enjoy the computer. While waiting for my results this week, I focused totally on working with my composer, Adam, who fortunately only had these particular days to work with me. I do not think there is anything that I enjoy doing more than putting my lyrics to music---so this week I was totally provided with the 'something' I love to do.

Finally--keep imagining yourself doing and being whatever you totally enjoy wherever that might be. I knew that if this turned out to be 'anything' this past week, I would take myself right back to Sloan. I therefore would be staying in NYC. I really love my life in Florida, and while I have some of the most beloved people in my life living in NYC, I only kept seeing myself living and thriving back in Florida. I guess it worked!

With it all--keep up a dialogue with the good Lord, and with all those watching out for you 'upstairs'. Nothing beats prayer.

Hope this is helpful--keep the emails coming to let me know-- and if you know anyone who needs an ear---I'm 'still' right here.

Dr. Mimi Scott
518 674-8505
917 846-2449
visit me at: www.drmimiscott.com

Dysfunction or Disappointed Expectations?

2009-06-14T15:43:00.000-07:00

I used to joke that I'd like to do a group for 'functional' families, but didn't think there would be any family around left to participate. 'Dysfunctional' got to be the norm---whose family isn't? But what constitutes dysfunction? My understanding is that a person becomes dysfunctional when he or she is no longer able to 'function'-- specifically in a job or in a relationship. Something has become such an addiction (ie: alcohol) that one's job or one's all important relationship is in jeopardy. But addictions are not only alcohol, drugs, etc. An addiction can also be to what is known as 'disappointed expectations' or DA.

How often throughout a day are we 'let down'? Well if we suffer from an addiction to DA that can be pretty frequent. How many of us have almost died when it looks like our 'hard drive' may be collapsing. (I remember years ago taking the whole damn office I had in the dogs' cart to Staples where I had bought everything, in order to pray that they would save me--and they did.) Everyday we suffer DA when some one or other of our electronic devices let us down. But of course it's not just from our electronics that we suffer, but sometimes there are live people who 'let us down'. They have the nerve not to do what we EXPECT of them!!

As parents it is part of our MO to suffer from DA. And that addiction can also be the root for all future adults who suffer from DA. If a kid doesn't live up to a parent's 'expectations' no matter how large or how small, he or she is going to be 'screwed' up--we all know that. But do we also realize that if we're screwed up as parents, how can we 'expect' our kids to be sane? I mean if we whine--we have to realize that our kids are going to become a 'kvetch'. That's just the way things work.

The struggle in parenting as well as in a relationship is to constantly examine if our expectations are reasonable. Were we wrong to 'expect' that this marriage would be free of physical abuse?? Hello??? Is it asking too much to expect our kids to maybe make a bed? I dunno, I mean they do have a lot more homework today.
Do you think it is reasonable to 'expect' an hour of real work from an employee a day, or must we consider that she is having a real boyfriend problem and let her spend most of the time in her office on the phone? And how about our friends? Is it really worth it to expect them to never disappoint us? But is the disappointment reasonable? Maybe it is, and maybe it is just too great to continue the friendship. Or maybe it's an example of one of those 'let it go' situations we recently discussed where it is better to 'let it go' and lose the battle but win the war. Or maybe it is of such magnitude that we should actually go to war over it---I mean all those countries were once our 'friends' weren't they?

I guess what I'm saying is that it might be a good idea to continually examine our expectations before we become a DA addict and make that kind of contribution to the 'dysfunctional' world we are already a part of. Just a thought.

Hope you enjoyed the session. Today's topic was in response to a suggestion...if any of you have some for me---please do not hesitate to send them to me.

Dr. Mimi Scott
518 674-8505
917 846-2449
visit me at: www.drmimiscott.com

THE IMPORTANCE OF STAYING CONNECTED

2009-06-07T17:06:00.000-07:00

When my late husband Barry and I were young marrieds sitting in the backseat of my parents' car my father made the statement that if you make one friend in life you can consider yourself a rich person. Barry and I looked at each other, actually while laughing, and said simultaneously "then we must be loaded!". After all we had friends coming out of the woodwork. We had all our friends from high school and some with whom we kept in touch from college, some from business, some from the neighborhood, and already a number from theatrical productions. However as we traveled through this life, even before his death, Barry and I realized how 'right on' my father had been.

A real friend is a treasure and is someone to be treasured. If you reach that certain age where you can say you have one friend, be it a spouse, a sibling, a child, a parent, or maybe your next door neighbor, you can indeed consider yourself blessed. Sadly many people never really get that in life. I believe a treasured friend is someone you must work hard to cultivate. Mainly it takes 'being there' by 'staying connected'.

If you love this friend who's become a part of your life...let him or her know it. Try to remember their important dates and events so you can 'check in' when they occur. But much more important is to really 'listen' to them. If you can provide this kind of friendship, it is likely the favor will be returned. When you 'need to talk' and to have someone who can really be honest with you regarding what you are saying, and there is one person who immediately comes to mind, that person is there because you have 'been there' for him or her as well. To have a friend, one must 'be a friend'.

In order to keep friends who may become these jewels, you really have to stay connected. Find times and places to spend time together, whether close by or far away. A long distance relationship is better than none, but you really need that 'face to face' or 'one on one' contact for nourishment occasionally.

There is no question that a friend is someone who is there when you've had a loss--however the kind of friend about whom I've been referring, remains on hand well after that loss. Friends have a way of being there when the 'chips are down'
but this kind of friend is there when you have occasion to celebrate as well. That is much more rare actually. Friends are there when you are ill, but when you get better is when you may need them even more.

It is amazing how important these friends are when you travel through crossroads in life, as I recently have. You simply 'get through' largely because of these 'friends'. I have been blessed beyond reason. And I cannot help mentioning as I sit writing this with the Tony's on TV, that there is something so very special about the friends you make who share your passion whatever it may be. People who come to know you this way probably know you best---you just kind of 'get' each other.
So make sure as you may 'move on' from these friends or any other friends, that you remain 'in touch'.

Stay connected---work at it---the benefits are truly worth it. A friend not only keeps you 'rich', but with just one--you are never alone. Now go call whomever you've been neglecting.

Hope these sessions are of help...your emails indicate they are. I thank you.

Dr. Mimi Scott
917 846-2449
visit me at; www.drmimiscott.com

2009-05-31T13:29:00.000-07:00

I have a 96 year old aunt and uncle who have been together since they were 12 years old. I recently asked my aunt "how they did it?" and she replied: "you learn to 'let it go'". I interpreted this as not having to always win or be right, but losing the battle in order to win the war of peace and longevity in a relationship. And this rule of thumb can apply to children, parents, siblings, friends, etc. etc.
Obvioulsy the winning is not as important as the relationship continuing.

Now 'letting go" is a very different kind of story. This one truly evokes changing our belief system. Most of us got married believing that a spouse is there to fulfill our every need. Guess what? He or she is simply not able to do that. We have to challenge the belief system that says anyone--- partner, child, friend--- should behave in a certain way. I had a gay friend Bob who would sit in a chair by my bed when I was ill and we would talk for hours. Barry would pop his head in from time to time to see if I wanted anything, but it was Bob who was serving as my 'hand holder'. Barry, who was the greatest gift of my life,was simply not the type to do that---but how I wish he were around today to simply 'pop his head in'.

But "letting go" is a whole lot more than that. As we get older so do our children and grandchildren. They develop into real adults with real lives. Most of us I'm sure are proud of all their accomplishments, but truth be told,sometimes we wish they were a little different. Maybe if they wore their hair another way (I always wanted to push my teenaged grandson's hair a little bit away so that it wasn't in his eyes!), or maybe if they were a little thinnier or athletic or whatever. But guess what? It is out of our control---we have to "let go" We can no longer 'fix it like we did when they were maybe two. Everyone is now on their own. And if we 'let go' and just let them live they will probably like us a whole lot better and we can really feel a whole lot better as well. This does not mean we disappear or stop caring or listening---indeed we will always be first to arrive at a hospital, and we will always want to hold our child, no matter what age, if they have been hurt in any way.

But by 'letting go' we liberate ourselves. Now we can feel unburdened and concentrate on our bills, our painting or whatever it is we have to and we love to do. After all I've always heard that the best kind of parenting is by example.

HOLIDAYS!

2009-05-27T10:30:00.000-07:00

Well we just all traveled through Memorial Day weekend. How'd it go? Was it another day in Paradise...or was it 'hell on wheels'??? Somehow Holiday weekends always enlighten.

We may spend them with family and find out how great everyone has turned out to be, or how horrifying they all seem to be. Some wish it could go on forever and others cannot wait to get back to their own private spaace. If you feel the latter, you are not alone...family gatherings can be dreadful (even when it's barbeque time--not as bad as Thanksgiving though...and Christmas--ughhh).

Or we may choose to spend them with friends and prepare for the proverbial "ball". But even then, sometimes it's even more fun, and sometimes it's a very disappointing time.

In either situation some get drunk and make us laugh, others get drunk and can be absolutely nasty and make us feel like 'shit'.

Finally we may choose to spend the Holiday weekend alone. Again for some this is a joy. (I myself used the actual Memorial day to have the car washed; bathe the four dogs and shop at Home Depot and Target for all the things I found missimg on Saturday when everyone was there) Loners also can get to catch up on their reading; enjoy the parade on TV; answer a bunch of emails, or just take a good nap. But some may sit and wonder why they are alone on a Holiday weekend. Again one might ask: "Is it me?"

The question is a very powerful one. If you want an answer it requires tremendous honesty. We all tend to blame everyone else for what isn't going well. (These gatherings can be tremendous gossip sessions), but what we want to examine is what was our role in creating that which was created. Did we provide the smiles or were we responsible for the misery. Could it be possible we were controlling about the whole event?? Could it be possible we complained all day? Did we become too outragous and argumentative because of a beer or two? Or--this is important--were our expectaions simply disappointed, which brings us to what is often the 'root of all evil'....Disappointed Expectations.

Maybe we wanted to see unreasonable expectations met and when they were'nt we became 'let down'. I guess it makes sense to just take our families and friends for being just that--"family" and "friends". As such sometimes they make us feel terrific and sometimes they make us feel 'lousy'. If we come to these occasions expecting nothing more than what they are, we might not feel a real 'high' but neither will we come out feeling really upset.

I truly hope that the experience was great for all of you, but if it wasn't just think about some of the things I suggested above and look forward to a dirrernt kind of fireworks on July 4th!

But we can always look at the positives---it's a good time to examine oneself and find out why and where discomfort comes from. We can actually ask: "Is it me?"

The Art of Being Alone

2009-05-21T08:43:00.000-07:00

My last installment spoke of loneliness, however there is a distinction between loneliness and choosing to live alone. One case I know quite well looks at being alone as liberating. No more reliance on another person...taking a delight in doing things for yourself. Choosing the programs or the books that you can look forward to enjoying each day or night.

But having a confidante is the most important ingredient for anyone who chooses to be alone. Even for those who are not alone. A confidante may not be a spouse or a sibling but a wonderful friend who is there to listen to you. One to whom you report when you've returned from doing something special.

Alone is making a choice to either keep busy by making dates for lunch or dinner, or enjoy cuddled on your couch perhaps with your pet. Or you may choose to be on the computer. There is really so much offered other than emailing. You can do a blog, as I am, or you can read whatever newspaper you choose, or investigate any topic you may want. Or you can do what I just did to make yourself feel terrific.

I took a short little drive with my four pups from Hollywood Florida to just outside Albany, New York where my lake house is located. I stopped in NYC for three days and caught up with my wonderful friends which was like getting an adrenaline shot, and then did indeed take a short trip up to the lake. Not only did it make me feel proud of the accomplishment, but I had some real revelations or epiphanies while driving and listening to CD's that for some reason I never have time for in Florida. I heard the Bee Gees, Airsupply and Elvis among others, and I made sure I had the show Les Miserables in my possession by the time I left New York.

Somehow the phrase by the Bee Gees "How can you mend a broken heart?" really got to me. I realized that I had truly suffered a broken heart when my husband of thirty years died at 52. Unfortunately I did not want to deal with those feelings enough at that time...I just desperately wanted someone to 'stitch my heart up'. Now I am feeling the grief as I have never felt it before. I spoke of Barry and still do everyday of my life, but now I am feeling him in a new way. This should have happened years ago because grieving is what allows you to 'move on'. If you do not do it, it tugs at you until you do.

So I am 'doing', but at the same time I am truly enjoying being 'on my own'. Hopefully what I have just said may impact some of you and help you along...that after all is my purpose in writing this. By the way my number at the lakehouse is 518 674-8505 and if you need to talk just call. If you don't reach me at the Lake call my cellphone 917 846-2449---I'll probably be out grocery shopping, but I can still talk even while picking out lettuce!

Dr. Mimi Scott

LET'S DEAL WITH LONELINESS

2009-05-10T13:57:00.000-07:00

I guess this is for all the wonderful people reading who on occasion get lonely....it's ok...indeed there are many people out there who are surrounded in their homes by family who also get lonely. It is not great to feel that way, but sometimes we have to just soak ourselves in the loneliness for a bit, and then wash it off and get up and get going.

When is the last time you went through your closet? Or your drawers? Or even your kitchen cabinets? How about getting rid of all the stuff you don't use (along with the pounds you've no doubt lost) and donating it to those who could use it?

How about going outside now and walking the pet you no doubt have acquired, and if you haven't, go outside anyway and take a walk. Walk and notice...notice the trees and the leaves and the birds and the sky and the colors all around you (hope they're not all blue---we don't want to think blue), and if no one is nearby try singing to yourself (doesn't matter if you don't have a voice---you have a soul and it needs nourishment). When you get home from your walk try putting on some music and dance to it---yes I said dance! When is the last time you tired yourself out dancing? Nothing like swinging those hips and arms to feel alive. Now catch your breath and sit down...get a glass of tea (cold or hot doesn't matter) and relax.

Next take time for that healthy snack followed by your favorite TV program. Try not to make it the news--that always adds to depression. Hey, how about the beach now, or a good movie, or if you're lucky enough be in NYC--a show!! Every Easter Sunday I would go to a show myself and come out feeling totally renewed. At any rate this is also a good time to call whomever and schedule whatever, so you have a date to look forward to. It's important to stay in touch with friends--when one is single they become particularly important. And try to groom one or two that will always be available to you---very important to have a confidante that will answer the phone.

Another thing I have to mention is that you can always go out to dinner, lunch or whatever BY YOURSELF (or with the pet). All over larger cities people are out eating alone and reading a newspaper or book---if you don't live in one, start a new fad in your town! When you return you will feel like you can began your evening routine of TV or whatever, before bedding down.

You have now proven that you don't NEED someone to be with to enjoy your day. You have enjoyed it by enjoying you! By the way--you CAN talk to yourself if you wish. I give you permission. It's great to have conversations with one's self. And I suggest that you tell yourself how proud you are of yourself for changing your life so that you are now in charge of it! If you have a moment to slip into soft feelings regarding the past---take it and then remind yourself why you left your past situation..think about the worst moments---then congratulate yourself on making the change!!

Of course, many people are not alone of their own choosing. I found myself alone at 50 when my husband of thirty years died of a rare form of bone cancer at 52.

My kids were married with kids and my mother passed away just two months later. I was ALONE and yes there was immense loneliness. A lot of the above was what I did in order to fight off the loneliness---but ALONE--and choosing that for yourself is a whole other discussion which we'll deal with in the next session.

Remember you can email or call me if you want cauz I'm here for you---especially when you get 'down' for whatever reason...I'll be traveling up north this week from Florida and may not be as accessible as usual---but I should be reestablished in my lake home by next week this time, where I'll take time to offer you another session. By the way I'm waiting to hear your thoughts on topics you'd like me to address. Thanks for reading.

Dr. Mimi Scott
917 846-2449

Visit me at: www.drmimiscott.com

Now Take Care of Yourself!

2009-05-04T18:50:00.000-07:00

The break up is over, you've cleaned and redecorated the house/apartment, now you're on your own and it's all about you! What a great time to get yourself in shape. And I don't only mean physically. However, once the physical's achieved the emotional fitness is sure to follow. Nothing gives more joy and pride than getting yourself in shape...you wind up with a great new confidence level. This I know from personal experience...I just lost 240 pounds! 40 of my own and 200 of his! And I feel great.

It starts with nutrition which cannot begin unless you are really ready to commit. I was ready when I couldn't breathe when bending down to get a shoe on. It was my New Year's pledge and I've truly lost 40 pounds since Jan. 1st. I cut out wheat---haven't eaten bread, pasta, rice, etc. since that date. I focused on protein, salad, vegetables, and fruit. Also--roasted almonds are on my counter at all times. I drink water, especially with crushed ice since that fulfills the need to chew. I take Hoodia and an Acai Berry pill everyday around 3:00pm---keeps the energy up. But most importantly--I keep moving!

I begin each morning with an excercise routine I've been doing for years. It's really a combination of Pilates and other stretching exercises, but it takes about 20 minutes and it loosens me up for the day. This is followed by walking my dogs around the park for approximately a mile. I then go into the gym that is in my building and work three different machines over a ten minute period (the stair, the treadmill and the bike). I follow this with 10 more minutes of weight lifting machines and 50 sit-ups. A quick change once back in my apartment into a bathing suit, and I'm into the pool for 20 laps across. When done I allow myself 20 minutes in the sun which I read was actually healthy and as a result have the best tan ever---even a dermatologist complimented me.

The important thing about all this is the fact that nothing intimidates. I only do a few minutes of machines, but I do three of them. The same with the weights and the weight lifting machines. I set them on numbers that I can manage---not on numbers that will defeat me. Finally, when I began the swimming I could barely get through 2 laps. But I added a few more each day and now I'm ready to increase the 20 laps. When we set realistic goals for ourselves we are more likely to succeed than if we try for too much too fast.

As a result of all the activity any ailments that were hanging around are gone and my energy level is back to the "me" I was before having breast cancer with complications and allowing a weight gain. As a result of all this working out my body doesn't hang from weight loss, or look bony from malnutrition. Best of all I'm no longer getting ready for bed at 7:00pm. I'm at the computer with all kinds of writing and stuff so that I don't get into bed too early and make multiple trips to the refrigerator at night. I'm typing this at 10:30pm and I have only a glass of water with ice by me.

I relayed all this to all of you so that maybe some ONE person out there becomes motivated to do the same. GET RID OF ALL THE TOXINS IN YOUR BODY AND IN YOUR LIFE. Be patient with yourself--don't let some relaxation or cheating get you down---just get right back 'on the wagon'. What you are doing is not a 'diet' it is a change of lifestyle. And once you don't feel 'weighed' down by excess, you are ready to have fun again---maybe with a new mate, maybe with your very wonderful friends, or maybe just with your 'lil ol self'!

And guys and gals, I'm having trouble finding the comments that so many of you have told me you've written. Be sure and sign your names because I guess they won't print comments that are made anonymously. Tune in next week same time for another session.

Mimi Scott, Ph.d
954 926-0133
917 846-2449

visit me at:www.drmimiscott.com

Now...How do we survive this breakup??

2009-04-27T18:03:00.000-07:00

Ok, so you get through the big departure and you pledge not to slide back into 'the old shoe'.

How do you make sure that you can accomplish this? Well, here are some ideas. As I said last week, remove any reminders that may be in your home---all pictures of the good times, a gift that was given when things were good, etc. Then do something a little different with the room(s) you and and your 'roomate' spent time in together. Just changing furniture around can somehow make a difference.

Then what to do??? If you don't already have one--get a pet. A pet provides someone to come home to and also someone that keeps you busy if for no other reason then by having to walk him or her. In addition, you constantly meet and talk to people when you are out with your pet, and if you make the pet understand from the beginning that you have things to do away from home and you leave out water, food, and turn on TV, your pet will be absolutely fine. I firmly believe that pets were put on this earth to take care of us humans.

With that understood, you begin to make plans with family and friends as much as you can. Catch up with people you haven't had time for. Indeed have people over..again this gives you something to do in order to keep you distracted from thoughts of "you know who".

In regard to this, try not to inquire about him/her and try to keep the name out of conversations with anyone, including yourself.

Speaking of yourself, are there any things you've put off doing due to a lack of inspiration? Now's a good time to try it. I'm talking about things like writing, photographing, painting, dance lessoning, tinkering, geneology, sports following and playing, car racing,.... and the list goes on.

By the way, writing is a wonderful way to get things resolved in your mind. Think about what you want from life and what may have led you in the wrong direction (only momentarily since now's the time to 'begin again').

Yes, you may want to keep your eyes and ears open for a new love, but remember "a watched pot doesn't boil", so don't make thinking about that your priority. Just 'put it out there' and let the universe take care of the rest.

Most importantly do not berate yourself for having made the mistake of spending time with this person whom you eventually knew was wrong for you. That time spent was just a 'bump in the road' of life...now go on and enjoy yourself!!

Hope this session was helpful. Let me know if there are any subjects you would like me to address and I'll do my best to accomodate.

Dr. Mimi Scott

visit me at: www.drmimiscott.com

"Breaking up is Hard to Do"

2009-04-21T11:56:00.000-07:00

Wouldn't it be wonderful if all committed relationships stayed that way...well let's talk some reality---

How and when do we end a relationship and how do we know we are right in doing so?? And more importantly how do we survive a break up?

Actually ending a relationship whether it was short term or long term takes a great deal of courage. However when the pain becomes so much greater than the pleasure (if there is any left at all) we usually realize that we're in a 'bad situation' and hopefully that we must exit which is not easy.

When there is moderate pain and significant pleasure in a relationship we first must give 'help' a chance and then pledge to really work on it. When the pain however becomes so great we must know to 'get out'. And I'm not talking only about physical abuse--mental and emotional abuse can be just as painful, perhaps worse. So how do we get ourselves out from under?

First have a plan. Know where you are going or if you are staying and feel that your partner will not easily leave, have someone around to help you take your stand and if possible outline for your partner what and where he or she can do and go. Call the partner's family in some cases to advise them of the situation---if the severity is such that you need to call family or
friends to help you accomplish the task, be sure and do so.

Try to reach comfortable decisions regarding finances, but if the reaction is ugly---give it up (unless we are talking 'big time' money in which case have legal counsel ready). The pride taken when we 'get out there' and do whatever we have to do to take care of ourselves, is and will be, amazing. Tune up your skills at what may be coming to you from this 'stimulus package' or anywhere else as well.

When the 'deed is done' and you can take a deep breath, clean up yourself and your space, unless you're the one moving into a new space, and enjoy some redecorating. The important thing is to get comfortable and to rid yourself of anything around that makes you feel bad.

Next make your second plan and that is to 'keep busy'. If time was spent with your ex in the morning, afternoon or the evening, make plans to have something to do during these hours...
watch some new TV programs; work at the computer; write; paint; sing, or make dates---not necessarily with the opposite sex. Begin to enjoy your girlfriends or guy friends...and enjoy your self---this may take some reading, listening to music, meditating and praying...just 'put it out there' no matter what way you do it.

Know this---now pay close attention---you will, I said will, slip. First realize that it would be inhuman to end a relationship and simply 'walk away'. You have to have some feelings about it and it is OK to cry--but not for long.

What isn't OK is when you begin to think that maybe you acted too quickly; maybe you left something good; maybe the guy or gal you had your eye on next wasn't exactly as exciting as you had hoped. At that point in time, when the tears and howls come, realize that you are in pain, because, after all, you just had surgery. You have just had a 'tumor' removed from your body that was destroying your health and well being. Pain is natural after surgery and it may take a while to heal, but think how wonderfully healthy you will be when you do indeed get back on your feet. After all, you now will be able to get back that good energy instead of that 'sick' kind of feeling that keeps your energy in the toilet.

AA members have sponsors to call when they feel they are about to 'slip'. Make sure you have a relative or a friend that can serve you in this way, provided they were 'with you' regarding the need for this 'break up'. Tell them at the time of the break up to 'be prepared' because you are most likely going to need their support when you will be feeling youself 'slip' into regret.
Always keep a picture in your mind of the worst moment in your relationship with that person. Think about that anytime those regret feelings begin to 'show up'---kick em out!

Now you can do some of those things you've talked about not having the 'time' to do. Remember however---no comprimises regarding that tumor--no lunches once a week, a movie, a walk etc. You don't want any part of the tumor left in your body---GET IT ALL OUT---and MOVE ON!

I hope this session helped and I wish you only the best! You deserve it!

Dr. Mimi Scott